#deaf exclusion

[rikaklassen]

Crunchyroll released three episodes of A Sign of Affection on YouTube, an anime about a deaf girl, without any closed captioning.

Ironic.

Hearing people love our visibility, but they don't accommodate.

[aberooski]

Did I talk about how the first time I heard Zane's voice I immediate said "That's the Shredder." because I grew up with 2003 turtles and it's the same VA so I could never unhear it? Because now that Zane's back that's all I'm thinking about during this duel with Aster rn

[mag200]

taylor swift im gonna be real. im not losing you you’re losing me.

[gendernewtral]

every single post about disability reminds me that abled people need to shut the fuck up

[lydiduh]

The walking dead is fucking incredible and weird and campy and well and above one of the best current TV shows and I will stand by that people who were turned off by a shitty season or two are weak and they're missing a genuinely fun experience

[kalims]

scribbles

"( – ⌓ – ) ⎯⎯ he lets you draw on his skin, yeah thats pretty much it.

ft. malleus, vil

malleus

it was... a breach of your patience.

the lesson, was awfully boring. the more you listened to the apparent 'heroic' doings of certain individuals. the more it strips away your attentiveness to the words spilling out of professor trein's mouth. no matter how many times you will your ears to make out the incoherent lecturing of the man... it remains deaf.

so you decide to sate said boredom.

how? of course you need to bother your seatmate!

your intentions remained within the circle of yourself of course. your eyes stuck to the stray marker over your paper so you silently twisted the cap off and scribbled on your paper—then it was your palm—and now, malleus' arm.

"child of...?" man. malleus finishes in his mind, his attention suddenly snapped away at the sudden tug of his arm. definitely not his own decision to even make it move in the first place. usually it would remain stiffly beside his body like usual and even if someone tried to pry it to them it would remain still. but without his attention, his body lets you.

without another word. you peel open his fingers, palm open to you and it's a notion he allows. and he stays silent when you tug his gloves off. perhaps with a curious huff, malleus drifts closer to you. to accommodate your actions that he's yet to get an explanation for.

... and suddenly there's very bright flowers drawn on his palm.

said owner of the palm might just be toe darkest person in the room so it's quite out of place.

but it's from you so he likes it.

he peeks at it, with a fond smile on his face. I should enchant it to remain there forever. he thinks to himself, the curve of his lips growing wider at his thoughts, like he'd proud of the idea. the idea of being able to carry around something made exclusively by you might as well shove him into a cannonball and send him to cloud nine.

it's adorable. you're adorable.

his world grows a little more blue the more he stares at you. and if it weren't for the searing glances the professor sends your way malleus would just let his eyes engrave you into his memory forever, so he laments over it and reluctantly peels his gaze off you. mind speaking a thousand memories, the very same reason he somehow can't hear anything trein says.

you draw a strange looking lizard beneath his ring finger, one that looks a little like him and he thinks that you're asking him for marriage.

that can be arranged... he ponders, oblivious.

vil

drawings, doodles, painting— art. a reflection of the soul.

vil is great at makeup.

every brush on your face, a step to beauty. that is his reflection. you are his soul. he wants to make you look—no, make you feel like you're beautiful cause the canvas he's standing in front of is his greatest piece of art, he'd want to put you on the tallest pedestal there is. the grandest one just so the rest knows your beauty is parallel to none, something they can see and admire but not reach.

but he also wants to keep you in his own room, because only he knows what he felt when he painted you. only he should be the one given the grace.

this... he doesn't know what to consider.

perhaps vil should be bothered, if not then a little peeved at the several colors across his skin. a myriad of doodles, some words, and some simple drawings. a poor portrait of him is drawn next to one he assumes yours, the 'fairest' word on the right side of his hand, and flowers.

he's sure though. you're definitely no artist.

the thought cracks a smile at him, and you steal a glance midst the cool tip of the pen dancing along his skin. "I'd thought you wouldn't even let me do this," you admit, chair having been moved over closer to him so you wouldn't have any leaning problems. a suggestion by vil you gratefully took up, though you doubt it was just another excuse to have you closer.

"why?"

"dunno," you shrug. "it looks unseemly compared to you."

he huffs, flashing you a light smirk. "so my face is, hmmm..." vil ponders for a moment, and your face twists to the realization that you possibly just exposed what you think. but you suppose it isn't really a problem since it was basically common sense that vil is...

"gorgeous." you finish for him.

his aura brightens. (probably will be for the rest of the week.)

your hand retracts from him, the marker gripped between your fingers. and he takes a look at your 'art.' he doesn't know if he should consider it as one since there are a heap of sloppy lines, and the color bleeds into his skin. some smudges that you accidentally brushed against that makes it seem like a messy picture of chaos.

vil strives for perfection, but it's only natural there are flaws. to love oneself, you must love all parts. and to love you, he loves whatever the ink on his skin is.

well, what the heck.

"pass it to me," he stretches his hand, and you quirk a brow. questioning but curious so he indulges you. "I'll show you how it's done."

note. ngl idk what I wrote for vil it's currently 12 AM rn ☠ <- newer note, this has been rotting in my drafts for weeks and I couldn't decide whether to post it cause I wasn't sure about vil's but here hehehe

[byakugoseal]

tag dump: broken & updated tags part i

[marsprincess889]

Yoni animal observations

I did something similar with nakshatras. This is them in a very simple way. This is based on traditional associations as well as my own observations of real life and art. 💕 The word "yoni", as well as meaning the female reproductive organ, also means "origin". Yoni animal represents the instinct of the nakshatra and ultimately, reveals its true core nature.

Also, disclaimer: it's very sad that I have to say this, and apologies if you're not one of those people, but if you're going to correct anything in this post by writing one or more long paragraphs of why you think I'm wrong, you might as well just start your own blog or make your own post about the subject. I've been observing yoni animals for years and I'm kind of sorry if any of this offends you, but I'm not trying to attack anyone personally, or even a specific placement (nakshatras in this case), cause that's just dumb. Of course, everyone is free to express their opinions but please do it politely and have some respect for the person who took their time to gain and share knowledge. It's very easy to correct others, it's very hard to be faultless yourself. So, factual corrections are always welcome(say someone got someone's chart placement wrong, or they have written a factually incorrect association, like if they were to write that Jyeshta is fierce as opposed to sharp/cruel in nature.), but, once again, everyone's view is different and so either respect mine or don't write anything at all.

With that being said, you can now enjoy this post💕

Horse yonis

Ashwini and Shatabhisha

Keywords: activity, simplicity, masculinity(solar/yang), independence, healing.

Straightforward people. They might tend to have black and white thinking, can be very blunt with their delivery and definitely prone to "deafness": not hearing others' views. Simple and utilitarian, goal-oriented. Their presence might not be really noticed until the moment they suddenly speak up about or act on something. Love to point stuff out. Either quiet or very precise while speaking. Not aggressive but can be combative. Most likely will oppose someone before making peace. Independence>sharing. Don't like anything "unnecessary", love to get to the point.

Elephant yonis

Bharani and Revati

Keywords: slow, authority, time, timelessness, strength, transitions, protection, completion, gentleness, complexity, depth.

Not revealing their innermost selves, only revealing it to a select group of people, if to anyone. They attach meaning to things based on their experiences. Protective and gentle with each other, closed off to most of the others. Very private. Not really concerned with trends. Observant but not quick to act. Can have many sides to them that some others might fail to understand. Have an air of wisdom, but not that of arrogance. Still, they are the most likely to knowingly take the high road but still protect their peace, making them very exclusive, although it's never for show. Defensive but quietly so. Accomodating to some degree on the outside, there's always more to them than what's obvious. See the bigger picture in every situation. They have a certain quiet strength and power. Nurture is important to them. Do not appreciate unnecessary aggression and try to dominate over anything they consider harsh/crude.

Sheep yonis

Krittika and Pushya

Keywords: precision, structure, minimalism, choosiness, contained.

Do not like excess in anything. They have a sense of balance, usually in almost everything. Prioritize sctructure and basics/essentials. Like clarity and clear-cut lines in their lives and around them. Can be snappy, but in a passive-aggressive way. Not harsh in a heavy/overwhelming way but still harsh about details. Have a soft demeanor with strangers and acquaintances, sometimes even people close to them in everyday life but can judge them quietly. Neutral to friendly on the outside, but if they have uncomfortable emotions they try hard to release them quietly/without much fuss. Might bottle up resentment in result. Very utilitarian and practical.

Snake yonis

Rohini and Mrigashira

Keywords: enjoyment, ease, materialism, basic awareness, growth, progress, sensory indulgence, instincts.

Very placid and calm. They focus mainly on material things but can live without luxuries, and can also share them, although privacy is very important to them. Very aware of their surroundings and their own presence. Attuned to their senses. Can get easily attached to people and things. Can exhibit selfish tendencies(or that's how it looks to others) when they feel like their desires are ignored, but Rohini and Mrigashira each do it differently.

Dog yonis

Ardra and Mula

Keywords: upheaval, critical point, rebelling, release, change, anchoring.

Tense but not frail. Might look tortured sometimes. Do not like to and probably even cannot focus on details, at least not how it's traditionally done(different to each situation). Like to display their individuality in one way or another. Dark humor or sassy comebacks. Either quiet or very loud, but either way, opinionated. If they're neutral then they're opinionated about being neutral. Can be kind of nihilistic but at peace with it. Contrarian and unapologetic. If they don't care about something you can't make them care. If they do care, they care intensely.

Cat yonis

Punarvasu and Ashlesha

Keywords: accumulation, buildup, purity, safety, protection, preservation, cycles.

Concerned with what influences them, not so much what they put out. Self-focused but also highly aware of others' needs. Can adapt to surroundings and can change their behavior based on what they need or really want. Not unkind but laser-focused on the boundaries. Always keep their cards close to their chest, not out of malice but simply to preserve their safety. Look more unnaproachable than they really are, and know more than they share with most.

Rat yonis

Magha and Purva Phalguni

Keywords: dispersion, creativity, planting seeds, the self.

Can be egocentric. Prideful and nonchalant. Love to show off. Might be aware of surroundings to some degree but even if they are, they rarely care. Getting what they want is the priority, along with self-expression. Not very moralistic, don't care much about labels. Sometimes they can be too detached. Will almost never catch them crying in front of others, although they can be dramatic if they want and can, without a problem, attract their dwsired attention. Their happiness is more warm and generous than loud and euphoric. Might have a poker face, they rarely show strong emotions. The strongest emotion I've seen them express is that of defensiveness, and that's not even an emotion. When they get defensive it's almost always because something has touched their pride or triggered their ego. Focused on what they can do.

Cow yonis

Uttara Phalguni and Uttara Bhadrapada

Keywords: stability, the long-term results, natural, softness, power/influence, unity, calm.

Stubborn. That's the only defense they have, because otherwise they're very soft. Naturally honest. They have an effortlessness about them that feels easy to be around, and they are pleasant to be around but not accepting of everyone. They avoid people they don't like from early on and stick to the ones they consider better. Not hesitant to defend themselves or people close to them, but not quick to waste that energy on just anyone, and when they do become defensive they still maintain "the high ground". Backing their allies and fighting proudly is natural for them. Again, very stubborn, so they rarely, if ever, give up on something important. Although they're tough, they're not sharp or cruel. They are mostly in a state calmness and assuredness rather than anxious defensiveness. Very fixed and comfortable in their ways.

Buffalo yonis

Hasta and Swati

Keywords: materialism, gain, comfort, strength, feminine(yin), ease.

More attached to material things than other yonis. Individuality is defined through connections and surroundings. Love comfort and ease. Interdependence>independence. Can be curiously neutral and accomodating. Self-focused but not selfish. Often phlegmatic and slow. Genuinely caring but can be cunning. Not the most direct people. They will let others know their views but won't push them aggressively on others. Almost everything about them is filtered through that neutrality.

Tiger yonis

Chitra and Vishakha

Keywords: building, gradual, defensive, expression, buildup.

The most defensive. Can look sweet on the outside but are not all soft. Can range from extremely forgiving to extremely vengeful. Aggression comes out while speaking. Rarely, if ever, present in a state of calm melancholy. They moreso go from happy/fun to agitated. Focused on development/building, and always look for more than what's natural for them. Witty but emotionally so. If they're highly agitated, it's very hard for them to exercise restraint in the moment. Not that direct in general but unfiltered during critical moments. It's easy for them to put on a mask, whether out of neccessity or just for fun. Can be very judgemental. If they're not aware, it can make them act in a "mean" way when they feel not their best.

Rabbit/Deer yonis

Anuradha and Jyeshta

Keywords: society, organization, status quo, responsibility, transpersonal, maturing.

Very non-aggressive on the inside, despite how they might look. Naturally have endurance and a sense of responsibility. Can be judgemental but also understanding. Love to give advice. Competitive but respectful. Can become arrogant. Love everything "classic" but want to establish their own, new structures. Choosy and sometimes exclusive. More warm than they appear, and capable of more emotions than how it seems. Often traditionally intelligent. Have a very civilized behavior.

Vanar yonis

Purva Ashadha and Shravana

Keywords: flow, alliances, connections, support, creation and preservation.

Good at reading between the lines, anything too structured is harsh for them. Otherworldly aura/mannerisms. Most likely to posses what others might consider as "quirks". Value their own individuality and uniqueness. Seeks to be different from what they consider boring, normal or basic. Not very reactive. When they get defensive, they get quiet. Can romatisize sadness and melancholy. Capable of seeing both sides but are often willingly biased.

Mongoose yoni

Uttara Ashadha

Keywords: independence, solitude, practicality, victory.

Truly neutral and unbothered. Value honesty and integrity. Not attached to material things at all. Easy to be around but their regal nature might put some people ill at ease. Naturally take on leadership positions. Might feel lonely but won't trade solitude for tiring/uninteresting company. Value practicality and simplicity, and are practical themselves. Surprsingly warm and feeling in certain moments, but can also be uncaring towards others.

Lion yonis

Dhanishta and Purva Bhadrapada

Keywords: notoriety, flashiness, power, aggression, pride.

Very unfiltered and loudly so. Unashamed and bold, proud. That pride and confidence fuels their calmness, but they can lack patience. In everyday interactions they can look very unreactive but if something "triggers" them, they will not hesitate to be a little(or not so little) aggressive. Love to spread their influence. Might strongly dislike anything that looks subtle and quiet to them, as it arises distrust in them. Rarely, if ever, use/appreciate sarcasm. They prefer directness. Can slip into being a bully, or can become a proud voice for others.

[endless-ineffabilities]

Official Business

President Aemond Targaryen x f!reporter reader

a/n: I caved in and listened to the depraved gremlins in my mind. I hope you enjoy this official intro, you're welcome.

also, thank the gods for Rue (@peachysunrize) for creating the hottest gif of all time.

themes/warnings: language, barely-there smut, infidelity, unequal power dynamic, gross misuse of a fancy desk, getting involved with a politician (also gross)

main masterlist

Update! - upcoming series

President Aemond demands the company of his favourite reporter, whom he has been eyeing for quite some time.

You try to walk with your head held high, but your clammy hands and racing heartbeat betray your nerves.

“President Aemond wishes for you to grace his suite,” was all they said. They, being two imposing bodyguards in impeccably tailored black suits, occasionally touching their earpieces as if confirming orders.

“What does he want?” you asked, your voice coming out weak and tentative. More importantly, why you?

They only shrugged, impassive. Whether they didn’t know or didn’t care, it wouldn’t matter anyway. The President always gets what he wants.

You’d only spoken to President Aemond in your capacity as a reporter, part of the small circle allowed to amplify his words to the public. The first time was at the annual Westerosi Gala, where he arrived with First Lady Floris Baratheon on his arm. Your colleagues whispered incessantly about how the uncut footage showed his gaze barely straying from you, even with his stunning aristocratic wife beside him.

Your supervisor even had the footage edited. “You don’t need the media vultures swarming you,” he reasoned, trying to sound reassuring.

Now, after covering yet another event in Highgarden, it seems you’ve been summoned for an exclusive interview in the President’s suite. You hope that’s all it is.

After all, you can’t be another victim of President Aemond’s wandering eye. Socialites like Alys Rivers and Lara Lannister had been publicly shredded after being exposed as his mistresses.

You never understood his affairs. They seemed so juvenile, reckless even for the youngest President ever elected. Barely thirty and in the highest position imaginable. And yet, what truly baffled you was why Floris stayed.

“Ma’am, the Presidential Suite,” one of the guards states as he opens a set of ornate ivory doors for you. “The President is waiting inside.”

Your feet move automatically, sparing you from blurting something that would inevitably fall on deaf ears. But as you cross the threshold, you turn and ask, “Will you be waiting to escort me back to – ”

The doors shut behind you. Of course.

The suite is grand – no expense was spared for the President. A perfect blend of classic Valyrian architecture, all white marble and gold accents. It’s more impressive than you could have imagined, having marvelled at the Highgarden Hotel from the outside for years.

“Come,” you hear a voice command, smooth and authoritative, from the room to the left of the main parlour. 

You head in that direction, mentally steeling yourself. Just get this over with.

There he is, leaning casually against a wide desk, dressed sharply in a tailored blue suit and crimson tie. The moonlight streaming through floor-to-ceiling windows catches the scar across his left eye, the glint of his prosthetic eye giving him an almost sinister allure. The kind that draws people in despite themselves.

Maybe it wasn’t immaturity driving his affairs. Maybe he was just too beautiful to resist. You roll your eyes at the stupid thought, surprised with yourself.

“Something amusing?” His voice is tinged with laughter.

Gods, you just rolled your eyes in front of the President.

“N-no,” you stammer, immediately flustered. “I’m sorry, Mister President. It’s just... I thought of something funny. Not about you! I mean, I’m sure you can be funny, but - ”

“Relax, angel,” he chuckles, raising a hand to stop your rambling. The term “angel” lingers in the air, branding itself into your mind.

You quickly introduce yourself, fumbling through your full government name like a nervous schoolgirl.

“We’ve met before,” he reminds you, smirking. “Am I that forgettable?”

“No, I know we have,” you nod quickly, “just not in such a… private setting.”

The corner of his mouth quirks at your choice of words, and his gaze sweeps over you with an intensity that sends heat rushing through your body. He hums softly, and the sound settles uncomfortably low in your stomach. Gods, get it together.

“I was told you wanted to see me, Mister President?”

“Aemond,” he corrects. 

You nod, offering your nickname in return, but he only smiles, shaking his head slightly. “Thank you, but I think I’ll stick with ‘angel.’”

Weird, considering how this is your first proper conversation with him, you think, but nod regardless.

He gestures to the plush chairs in front of the desk. “Sit, please.”

You comply, smoothing your dress nervously. Thankfully, it’s modest enough – a safe choice that flows just above your knees.

“How are you?” he asks, his voice polite but edged with something else. Part of you wishes he’d just get to the point, but another part – one you’d rather not acknowledge – wants to stay, to drink in the sight of him. Aemond Targaryen, the most powerful man in Westeros, and he’s looking at you like you’re the only person in the world.

“I’m doing well,” you reply, your smile faltering under his heavy gaze.

He hums again, eyes dipping to your lips. That same maddening hum that sets your nerves alight.

“You must be wondering why I asked for you tonight,” he says, leaning forward slightly. “I wanted us to get better acquainted. You’ve caught my attention, angel. I find you… intriguing.”

“But you don’t know me,” you counter quickly, heart racing.

“I know more than you think,” he says, eyes narrowing playfully. “You studied at the Casterly Rock Institute for Journalism. Top of your class, until your grades dropped in your final year because you were taking care of your ailing aunt. That says more about you than any degree.”

He continues, “You’re an only child. Estranged from your parents, especially your mother, after she remarried. You’ve moved city to city since, keeping your distance. Avoiding attachments, especially romantic ones.”

You freeze, his words hitting too close to home. There’s an amused lilt to his voice at the end, and you desperately want to respond with a defensive retort, but you hold your tongue. You like your job after all. He’s the President. One call and he could have you right back in the unemployment pool.

“Am I correct?” His lips curl into a knowing smirk.

You manage a small nod. Damn him.

“How do you know all this?” you ask quietly, stunned. You wonder if there are hidden cue cards somewhere in the room, informing him of the details of your relatively uneventful life. There is no way he actually made the effort to memorise all these details about you. But then again, he is the Commander-in-Chief of the country. He must have trained himself to know everything about everyone. You’re not special – just another face in his immediate vicinity. 

“I make it my business to know people,” he replies smoothly. “Especially those who interest me.”

He reaches out to take your hand, pulling you gently to stand before him as he perches on the edge of his desk. The proximity is intoxicating. “And you, angel, have caught my eye. You’re the object of my desire. Can you say the same of me?”

His words leave you breathless, the floor slipping from under you. You’re no better than the others, drawn into his orbit. “I’d be an idiot not to find you attractive, Aemond.”

He smirks. “I adore the way you say my name.”

“There’s nothing special about the way I say it.”

“There is,” he insists, his voice low and rough as his hand moves to smooth a stray hair from your face. “You’re so fucking beautiful, angel.” His expletive takes you aback, so unbecoming of someone of his status. 

“I’m not a fool,” you shoot back, forcing yourself to remain steady. “I’ve heard about your... doings.”

“My doings?” He raises an eyebrow, amused.

“You’re married obviously,” you say bluntly. “And you’ve had affairs. Women like Alys Rivers, Lara Lannister…”

He doesn’t flinch. “I’ve had lovers, yes, but my marriage is... loveless. Floris and I, we’ve always been an arrangement for political convenience.”

“That doesn’t justify anything.”

He steps closer, his eyes darkening. “I’m trapped. I can’t leave her. It would destroy my reputation. But she has her own lovers too.”

“And so you feel entitled to have yours?”

He breathes deeply, gaze unwavering. “Not just anyone. I want you, angel. Only you.”

You feel yourself dangerously close to giving in, especially when his gaze drops to your lips and he shamelessly licks his own. Desperate to stay composed, you ask, “Am I just another lover to add to your collection? I may be a lowly journalist compared to you, Mister President, but I have a reputation to protect too.”

“I know this, angel,” he whispers, his voice softer now, yet drawing closer with every word. “I’ll protect you.”

“Did you protect Alys? Or Lara? Or the others?” you challenge, though your voice falters.

“They orchestrated their own downfall,” he says coolly, his expression unreadable. “They used me for power. That was out of my hands.”

Oh. His words momentarily rattle your resolve, but you shake your head, trying to pull yourself out of the spell he’s weaving over you. “No, this is wrong,” you murmur, the words weak on your tongue. But his warm breath fans your face, luring you into the same madness he claims to feel.

“Is this wrong?” he whispers, his lips grazing yours – featherlike, teasing, barely there. Then, as if something shifts within him, he kisses you again, harder this time, his mouth pressing hungrily against yours. His tongue traces the curve of your bottom lip, sending a rush of heat through your body as you teeter on the edge of reason.

You cave, for a few seconds, letting your lips dance with his own in a battle for dominance. You elicit a growl out of him, and he picks you up and swaps your bodies so that you are perched atop his desk. 

“Gods,” he purrs, against the heat of your neck. “Sweeter than I imagined. You’re a fucking angel.” His gaze is arresting as his hands slide from your ankles to the hem of your dress, lifting it higher and higher until your moist panties are exposed to the cool air. 

You collect yourself as if hit by a dizzying wave of whiplash, pushing him away with a sharp shove. “Stop – wait, Mister Pres – Aemond…”

He stumbles, lips swollen and slick, his good eye darkened, pupil blown wide. “Right, sorry…” His breath comes heavy as he averts his gaze, and you smooth your dress down, feeling the weight of the moment between you. He straightens, his posture stiffening as if suddenly remembering who he is. “I didn’t mean to push you, angel.”

“You didn’t –”

“It was wrong of me to –”

“Aemond,” you cut in softly, your hand slipping between you to squeeze his in reassurance. “It’s okay. I wanted it too.”

A genuine smile blooms on his lips, innocent and sweet, but it fades just as quickly at your next words. “But this can’t happen again. We can’t happen.”

"Why not?" His voice is low, measured, but there’s an edge to it. "Why can’t we? You say you wanted it too."

“We both know why,” you murmur, your voice trembling despite your best efforts. You turn to leave, but hesitate just long enough to say, “Goodbye, Mister President.”

“Angel,” he calls softly, and it’s the only word he offers.

As you step out of his suite, the door closing behind you with a quiet finality, a thought begins to take root, unsettling in its persistence – he never actually said goodbye.

And deep down, you know this isn’t over. Something stirs in your chest, an uneasy certainty - while this is the first of these kinds of encounters, it won’t be the last. 

Taglists (refer here to be added)

vhagar - @gwaynehightowerswhore @kravitzwhore @litchifaerie @g-cf2020 @noxytopy @fan-goddess @m00n5t0n3 @diannnnsss @nsr-15 @the-awkward-barbie @rockstwrsz @yellowstonebaby @urdeftonesgrrrl @eddieslut69 @callsigncrushx @starwarsdinosaur @qweq-6802 @tulips2715 @hotdismylife @joyismm @itseunaimonia @just-mj-or-not @crystal-siren @zaldrizzes @all-for-aemond @ajantanijhum @darylandbethfanforever9 @vhwyrm @purpleskiesandroses @technicallystrangereview @jjkysnk @anukulee @decaffeinatedparadisepost @iloveallmyboys @inesdiary96

Targaryen - @angel6776 @different-tale-student @binchissimo @teasweeter @raging-panda @rhaenys-nyra @gelacat0413 @simplymurdock @yariany02 @barnes70stark @stupid---person @lonan-hane @thescooponsof @donalesaa @rosey1981 @misssanzthings @urmomsgirlfriend1 @wabi-sabi1090 @girl-lost-not-found

Some notes in the margins...

Knowing me, this will inevitably turn into more than just a oneshot. Do bookmark this or my masterlist to keep updated! Or you may join the taglist using the link above ~

[wheelie-sick]

I wanted to make a very blunt post about hearing people using sign languages for speech loss episodes because I think a lot of people really need to hear this.

..... I really do not know what you guys are expecting to get out of sign language as an alternative to speech

let's start with some facts:

sign languages are their own distinct and separate languages from spoken language. ASL is not English with your hands, ISL is not Irish with your hands, and so on and so forth.

sign languages have their own unique vocabularies, grammar, and syntax

learning a sign language is exactly as hard as learning a spoken language. the idea that learning a sign language is easier is a myth. it is a second language and will be as difficult to learn as every other second language

sign languages rely on a complex system of facial expressions for grammatical reasons. facial expressions are not optional. [PT: facial expressions are not optional.] you will not be understood without facial expressions

from my understanding the majority of people who experience speech loss episodes lose their ability to speak because they are overwhelmed, overstimulated, upset, tired, or otherwise in a state that's upsetting or overwhelming. from my understanding, the majority of people who experience speech loss episodes are losing their ability to use language, they are not losing their ability to use their mouth.

if you are not losing speech in a way that exclusively affects your mouth then a sign language will not help you. full stop.

[PT: if you are not losing speech in a way that exclusively affects your mouth then a sign language will not help you. full stop.]

as I mentioned above a sign language is a second language for you* unless you have grown up signing you will be stuck translating your thoughts into a second language. if you're struggling to use language you will only struggle more to use a second language. it's like if you were monolingual English speaker and you lost speech and decided the solution would be to try speaking Spanish instead.

*okay, there are hearing people who learned sign as a first language**, but that is not the majority of you

**baby sign is not sign as a first language

I also feel like a lot of people seem to forget the experiences of Deaf autistic people when they're trying to figure out using sign language as an alternative to speech during speech loss episodes. Deaf people lose speech too. [PT: Deaf people lose speech too.] as it turns out the complexities of sign language can become too overwhelming and difficult when we are overwhelmed too, and sign language is often our native and/or primary language. if you are not someone using a sign language as your native and/or primary language then what makes you think you'll be able to communicate with it during a speech loss episode better than us?

you are going to find it very difficult to communicate in a second language when you're losing speech.

now for those of you whose speech loss episodes exclusively affect their mouth:

you are treading in dangerous waters. let's start with: sign languages are not AAC. Deaf people, who ultimately control the sign languages and were the people to create them, do not have a communication disorder. we are speakers of a non-dominant language. sign languages are more than just a communication tool for us, they are also endangered languages and cultural languages. they should be treated with respect in regards to those facts. if you treat sign languages as AAC (which therefore treats them as tools for your use as a hearing person) or outright call them AAC you are disrespecting the language and its cultural significance. if you would not call English "AAC for Americans" do not call sign languages AAC.

if you decide to use sign language to assist you during speech loss you should also be using your knowledge of sign language to protect and preserve this language. hearing people can be part of the Deaf world if they sign. you shouldn't shy away from communicating with Deaf people.

If you decide to use sign language to assist you during speech loss you have to [PT: have to] understand the culture behind the language and treat the language with respect to that culture. Deaf culture is a closed, minority culture. it is not free to take from and use as you please. us allowing you to use sign language is a gift, it is not something to take for granted. if you view sign languages as a tool for your use as a hearing person you are stealing.

but back to practicality, I'd encourage you to use AAC over a sign language. you don't tread the same dangerous waters by using AAC and it will also allow you to be understood by more people. most people do not know any sign language, and most people who do know sign language are unwilling to use it.

if you want to commit to learning a second language in its entirety and want to commit to doing so with respect I will not stop you but you should consider whether your motivations are yourself or whether your motivations align with and protect the Deaf community. your motivations should not be selfish.

[ID 1: a userbox saying "this user is deaf"

ID 2: a userbox saying "this user has autism"

ID 3: a userbox saying "this user communicates via sign language]

[star-sim]

"cheater!" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen hyungs x fem! reader ☆ summary: that one time you mentioned another guy's name, and he gets jealous (and he's dumb). ☆ genre: fluff, humor, dumb dumb boys, very minor angst/hurt/comfort in jay's part, cross between short scenarios and bullet points ☆ warning(s)? mentions of cheating obv, misunderstandings, ☆ not edited lolz also if ur @/archlstarvlle get off my dick again and stop plagiarizing me (and other authors bruh)

heeseung ☆

poor guy

you and him were going to a party later

and you were planning on putting ribbons in your hair

except you didn't have ribbons!

time to go to your nearest craft store: michael's.

"Baaaabe," you whined, prying Heeseung's grabby hands away from you. "I need to go."

Heeseung kept his arms wrapped around you, pressing his cheeks into your back. He threw his leg around yours, pulling you ever closer to him.

"Nooooo," he drawled, and you could feel his lips forming a little pout. You were just so warm and soft and comfortable. "Stay."

You chuckled at his childishness. You needed to go buy ribbons for later, since you ran out of them.

"Baby," you pecked his forehead, trying to shake yourself free of your clingy boyfriend. "I need to go to Michael's."

You felt Heeseung's body go frigid for a moment, before his arms loosened altogether around you, allowing you to escape his grip.

When you pulled away, while you continued to happily chirp about whatever was on your mind to your boyfriend, your words fell upon deaf ears.

Heeseung pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it pensively.

heeseung was actually going insane

WHO IS MICHAEL??? AND WHY ARE YOU GOING TO HIM??

heeseung swears he's never heard you talk of someone named michael, let alone a friend named michael

how could you drop the name of some OTHER MAN so casually???

and the nail in the coffin was what you said next

"Michael's has some pretty cool things," you chatted, your back turned to your boyfriend as you fixed your lip gloss. "So, let me know if you need anything from there.

michael... cool... things....

if heeseung wasn't already fighting for his life, he was now fighting a million wars at once.

you told heeseung that he was cool and handsome and cute and all the words in the dictionary all the time.... and you made sure to let him know that your words were exclusive to him

so for you to say that SOME RANDOM DUDE NAMED MICHAEL WAS COOL?????

"I don't think you've ever been to Michael's, so I think—"

Heeseung abruptly stood up from the bed that he was lying in, in such a sudden and dramatic way that you snapped your head over to him, as he was quite loud with it.

There your tall boyfriend stood, completely still, with a deep frown on his face.

"Babe, are you okay—"

"I'm going with you," Heeseung announced, his voice filled with such a passion and vigor that it nearly shook. He looked so indignant and solemn, you almost felt worried. With finger air-quotes, he said with a subtle eye-roll, "I will go with you to this 'Michaels.' "

You blinked at him obliviously, before a smile grew on your face. You didn't know that Heeseung was so curious about the local craft store called Michael's, but you were not going to question it.

"Okay!"

heeseung was just WAITING

he let you take the wheel and while he sat in your passenger's seat he was rubbing his knuckles, WAITING TO THROW A FIST AT THIS MICHAEL GUY

would a black eye suffice? or maybe a broken nose....

he glanced over at you

you were just humming to yourself to the music (you let heeseung take the aux)

sure you looked so cute and innocent right now... BUT HOW??? HOW COULD YOU BE SO CASUAL ABT IT???

heeseung was expecting for you to pull up to a neighborhood, or an apartment complex, ready to feel his entire world crash down before his feet as some guy named michael emerged from the doorway

his heart plummeted at the thought of this 'michael' pulling you in for a hug, with you greeting him back brightly

no!!!! he couldn't let michael win!!!

you were his!!

.

.

.

except, you simply pulled up to a parking lot

to a massive store, with white walls and a giant brown sign

reading

michael's craft store

Heeseung flopped over in relief.

"Hee...!"

jay ☆

i think at this point in time you and jay aren't DATING dating, but definitely an exclusive pair that's BASICALLY dating

all your friends know about him and you report to them daily about him (theyre tired)

except

before you and jay became an actual pair

you used to call him a code name with your friends

the code name in question?

hamilton

named after your friend's hamilton beach flexcut cordless can opener, aka the first thing that you saw when you were coming up with a code name

Your heart was pounding in your chest.

Today, you and Jay decided to have a study session in the library. Although you knew that he'd be true to his word and would actually help you study, you hoped that the two of you could do something more.

Maybe he'd put his hand on your thigh, or maybe you'd have the opportunity to cut him off with a kiss. Just the thought made your stomach do flips.

As you waited at the library table, with your heart in your hands, your phone rang. It was your friends. Noticing the dirty looks for such an obnoxious ringtone, you stepped out the library to take the call.

meanwhile jay was pretty much shaking with each step he took to the campus library

an entire two hours with you? you, who needed his help really badly? you, who he wanted to kiss so badly? yes please!!!

boy was he excited

but as he rounded the corner to the library.............

he spotted you..... on the phone with someone.....

"Hamilton is so handsome!" he heard you squeal into your phone, and Jay's heart stopped. "I hope Hamilton comes soon, so that I can kiss him."

ham...il...ton

who is that....

jay knew that you and him weren't officially dating but he didn't expect you to do him dirty like that :(

as you continuted to giggle and coo about this hamilton guy, jay couldn't help but feel his heart ache

he really thought you were the one :(

except he was so caught up in his thoughts that jay tripped over his feet, making you whip your head around to him

Your expression was horrified, which only only confirmed his worst fears. Still, you stepped toward him, your face painted with embarrassment.

"Oh, hi Jay," you said bashfully, unable to meet his gaze.

Jay, even when he was hurt, didn't have it in him to be rude to you. He wanted to run away (and cry), but the way you gave him a small, sheepish grin made his heart flutter.

He planned to sit through this session, and excuse himself after 30 minutes. Keep the relationship civil, he thought.

on your end

you were mortified!!!

did jay just hear you talk about him to your friends?

although you had a code name for him, it wasn't like what you said was completely discreet

you dropped pretty obvious context clues that pointed to who hamilton was

things like "i love hamilton's heart-shaped birthmark on his neck, do you think he'll let me touch it?" and "i hope hamilton takes me out on a date after today's study session"

you were embarrassed

and it didn't help that jay was being quieter than usual... did he think you were weird?

but to jay, that embarrassment translated as the shame of being caught

the entire study session thus far, you didn't even meet his gaze, always looking away

Jay was hurt. Really hurt.

By the way you were acting, he was hoping for an apology, or some quick explanation, even if it was short and half-assed. At least you could've tried. But you said nothing.

Jay himself had questions that he wanted to be answered: how long has this been going on, if you were lying when you told him that you loved him, etc.

His lips moved faster than his mind could catch.

"So, who's Hamilton?" he blurted.

shit shit shit

he KNOWS RIGHT?

HE KNOWS THAT HE'S HAMILTON

RIGHT???????

you felt your neck and cheeks heating up

and by the way he looked solemn, you were sure he was mad at you

You froze, before all of your words spilled out of your mouth.

"Oh my god, Jay, I'm so sorry. You must be feeling so creeped out and disgusted with me and—"

from your body language to the panic in your expression

jay thought that his suspicions were confirmed

the moment that you began speaking he was ready to break down sobbing

but your next words made him stop

"— And I know that you think I'm weird for using a code name as stupid as 'Hamilton' for you, and I'm so sorry for that, but—"

wait a minute............

code name

hamilton

for him

.

.

.

"Wait, I'm Hamilton?!" Jay cut you off, his face pinching.

You let out a weird sound, an awkward expression spreading across your features.

"I-I mean, yeah..." you hid your face in your hands, "Ughhhh, I'm so sorry, that's so weir— Jay?!"

Jay was slumped over the table in relief, his face buried in his arms. He let out a loud groan, before lifting his head to look up at you. You couldn't help but notice the little glassy sheen in his eyes, almost like he was going to cry.

"Jay..."

He quickly wiped the little tears forming in his eyes away, sniffling before sitting up completely, averting his gaze from you.

"It's nothing," he murmured.

He was relieved. No, beyond relieved. He was ecstatic that this entire time you were talking about him. He couldn't believe that he would think of you in such a poor light.

He kept his eyes away from you, too shy and embarrassed to look you in the eye.

You poked him, and he didn't respond, so you poked him again.

"Jay."

"Hm?"

"Do you think I'm weird?"

He snapped his head over to you.

"What? No, of course not!"

You frowned. "Then why aren't you talking to me?"

Jay sucked in a sharp breath. "It's nothing."

He finally met your gaze, his lips helplessly cracking into a grin just as the sight of you perplexed expression.

He clutched your chin, tilting it so that you would look at him. He leaned in to give your lips a peck.

"I promise, it's nothing, Baby."

You leaned into him, giving him a peck, too.

"Okay," you nodded, biting back the giddy, lovesick grin that fought its way onto your face.

jake ☆

one day youre hanging out w your friends

and ygs go to a dog cafe

so cute!!

and theres this one dog that's just practically CALLING FOR YOU

he's just this little maltese named enzo and he's so cute

the two of you cuddling on the floor, giving him good head rubs and laughing as he licks you

you love enzo the maltese!

anyways so you take pictures ofc and post it to your private instagram

Jake narrowed his eyes at his phone.

He was deep.

Deep in the goddamn trenches.

He was excited to see the cute pictures you took of your day out with your friends. When you said that you were going to a dog cafe, Jake was so ready to use a picture of you and a pup (two of his favorite things) as his new phone wallpaper.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Because all of a sudden, his Wi-Fi decided to be poor all of a sudden.

Although he got the notification that you posted something new on Instagram, when he checked your account, none of you pictures loaded. All he could see was a black loading square, and the caption to the post.

at first jake was like

"its ok i can wait" even though he REALLLLYYY wanted to see your pictures

he couldn't see any of the pictures you posted, but he could still see the caption

and that's what caught his eye

you liked to have an individual explanation for each picture in the post, so your caption read as follows:

pic 1: me and enzo

pic 2: enzo kissing me

pic 3: holding enzo's hand

pic 4: enzo and me cuddling

and that's when jake stopped reading

Jake was going to start losing hair, because who was Enzo? And why was he kissing you? And cuddling with you?

He'd never heard of an Enzo. Poor guy, Jake kept refreshing your account in the hopes that your pictures would load, so that he could see this Enzo guy face-to-face. But that didn't happen.

It didn't help that your Instagram notes read, "enzo &lt;3."

seriously

WHO IS ENZO

jake paced back and forth around his apartment, trying to scroll back in his memory for anyone named enzo

but alas

no one

all he knew was that whoever enzo was, he was about to get a broken jaw

a little frown formed on his face, as he rubbed his knuckles

were you going to leave him from this enzo person?

was enzo better than him?

how come jake never heard of an enzo before?

Jake's head perked up the moment his apartment door cracked open, revealing you. He rushed straight to you, expecting to hear you say, "I'm breaking up with you for another man named Enzo," completely taken aback when you simply threw your arms around him.

"Hi, Jakey!" you simply exclaimed, holding him tight.

Jake stood still, eyeing you for a moment.

Were you not going to break up with him on the spot?

The next thing he knew, Jake was pulled into his room, thrown on his bed, and cuddled up against you.

"I'm so tired," you breathe, snuggling your face against his chest. "I couldn't wait to get home to you."

Jake blinked.

"T-Tell me about your day," he gulped.

and you happily did so

animately, you told all about your day

what foods you tried, what you and your friends did, how much fun you had

you even told him about a cute little maltese that you couldn't remember the name of at the dog cafe...

and at last

no mention of enzo

"How's Enzo?"

Jake didn't know why he asked that, but when he did, you perked up.

"Oh!" you clapped your hands. "That's his name!"

"Wh-Who's name?"

You laughed. "The maltese at the dog cafe! His name was Enzo— He was just the cutest little thing!"

Enzo is a... dog?

Jake suddenly hoisted the two of you up, so that you were laying flat on your back. He plopped his face onto your chest, putting your hand in his hair.

"I don't like Enzo," Jake murmured against your chest. You chuckled, playing with his hair slowly.

"You didn't like the pictures of me and Enzo?"

"No," Jake shook his head, his hair cutely bouncing with each movement. "I don't like a dog trying to take my girl."

You laughed, calling your boyfriend silly, but completely oblivious to the fact that Jake was now making plans to go to that dog cafe to have a man-to-man talk with a dog.

sunghoon ☆

a man of a few words, gotta love it

this is very niche but you have a habit of making very obscure and dumb and completely nonsensical nicknames for people

like jake becomes jacobsongerald and jay becomes jameslynner the third

one day you and sunghoon are just having a lazy day

It's a quiet morning. Slivers of sunlight are peeking from the kitchen blinds, while birds chirp their hearts out outside.

While you look through the fridge, Sunghoon sits at the kitchen table, notepad and pen in hand.

"Do we need eggs?" he asked.

You glanced down at the egg compartment. "No, but I think we're running out of butter soon."

Sunghoon nodded, jotting down 'butter' on the notepad.

Every week or so, you and Sunghoon liked to have a morning like this, where you went over your grocery list.

sunghoon loved mornings like this

seeing you in your cute pajamas, your raspy morning voice bouncing off the walls as you listed to him what the two of you needed to buy for the week

the way the sunlight bounced off of you just made you look so ethereal, in your early morning glory

"Sungerson, can you write down milk?"

Sunghoon's face contorted immediately.

pardon....

WHO???

sunghoon couldn't tell if he was appalled because you just called him the WRONG NAME or because 'sungerson' is actually such a ridiculous name

WHO IS SUNGERSON THAT'S SO STUPID OMG

wait a minute....

sunghoon's heard horror stories like this before

where if your significant other accidentally calls you by another name, it's a sign that they're seeing someone else

"Oh, and can you add canola oil to the list?" you asked, not really checking to see if he was writing it down due to your trust in him. But when you didn't hear any pen scribbles, you turned over your shoulder. "Sunghoon?"

see?

you called him sunghoon just then

and this entire morning you'd called him sunghoon

but then you call him a different name out of no where and act like nothing happened

you weren't seeing someone else... right?

like...... you wouldn't do that to him

the way you acted like nothing happened made sunghoon think that you probably didn't notice your slip-up

"Sungerson?"

You looked confused, your brows furrowing. "What?"

Sunghoon looked up to meet your gaze. "You called me Sungerson. Who is that?"

"Oh." You shrugged. "It's just one of those dumb nicknames that I make up for people."

"Okay."

that made sense

completely

he shouldn't have doubted you

"Sunghoon, what are you pouting about?"

okay, so maybe the thought of you with someone else made him upset

even if you weren't

and reassured him that you weren't

You huffed, shutting the fridge door before coming over to wear Sunghoon sat at the kitchen table. You grabbed his head, leaning down to give his forehead a kiss.

Sunghoon whined, taking your arm as you pulled away from him. He leaned back in his seat, patting his lap for you to sit. When you did, Sunghoon immediately pushed his face into the crook of your neck, whining again.

"What is it, you big baby?"

"You're mine, right?"

You blinked. It wasn't every day that Sunghoon was clingy like this.

You chuckled, flicking his forehead.

"Of course," you said.

"Okay," Sunghoon let his eyelids fall shut, taking a deep breath before sinking into your warmth. "That's good."

[neil-gaiman]

Hey I'm sort of curious. I haven't read the book, but I'm a fan of the show and was genuinely disappointed that the phrase "going Native" had an exclusively negative connotation when I watched. Idk if this occurred to you or not, but that's pretty blatant racism. It's especially tone deaf considering this is a show about angels and demons - which have been a tool to commit genocide against us for upwards of 500 years.

Why not just use "human"? It's accurate and doesn't frame an entire demographic as inherently bad or undesireable.

Not trying to garner any ill will, it just rlly bummed me out bc I'm Native and it's an identity I wear with great pride bc ppl have tried countless times to rip it away from me. To see it treated with such disdain was very hurtful.

I understand your concerns, and do not wish to minimise them, or your hurt. Obviously the phrase has colonial roots. However, it's a lower case N, and isn't intended to talk about Native Americans. When the angels talk about Aziraphale "going native", this is the meaning they are using. It may be negative for the grumpy angels, but it's positive for humanity and for Aziraphale and Crowley.

From Mirriam Webster online:

go native

idiom

: to start to behave or live like the local people

After a few weeks, she was comfortable enough to go native and wear shorts to work.

Example Sentences

Recent Examples:

But dogs that go native make bad guards, hunting companions, and friends.—David Grimm, Science | AAAS, 29 Oct. 2020

Let your yard go native: The Cuyahoga Soil & Water Conservation District is offering seven native plant kits for sale that are adapted to the local climate and do not require excess watering or fertilizer once they are established.—Joan Rusek, cleveland, 6 July 2020

[stariikis]

trust myself

desc ; sitting in with riki as he films his en-note and accompanying him through the multitude of emotions that follow.

pairing ; idol!nishimura riki x gf!reader genre ; fluff, established rs wc ; 1228 notes ; understand that i love riki because i see a version of myself in him...

When your boyfriend sits down at the hotel table, a singular lamp illuminating his screen with a yellow warmth, your heart aches at just the thought of what he might say next. Though Riki’s always been very skilled at switching between seriously honest and teasingly goofy, he becomes a completely different person when he’s filming en-notes. 

He becomes so vulnerable to the invisible crowd that it hurts you more than it irks you. And sometimes, when confesses struggles even you have never heard from his mouth before, you wonder if you’re not enough for him. Not good enough a listener. Not trustworthy enough for him to confide in. 

How come he only opens up under the pressure of the camera lens?

“Don’t stress out,” you mumble quickly before he presses the red record button on his phone screen. Three simple words and yet they have Riki pausing for a long moment, digesting your words. 

After a while, he nods curtly. “I won’t.” He’s lying through his teeth. But he beckons you closer and as you lean in, he kisses your eyelid. Pulling away, he seems to smile slightly in an effort to coax you into relaxing. As if he wants you to give it up. 

Though the tender action does send a wave of serenity through you, you can’t help but to feel a lingering sense of dread, with questions unanswered running through your mind. When will I get to find out something about him that the fans won’t? Or does he think he should just be honest with everyone at the same time? Is he not conscious of the world being familiar with the very depths of his soul?

Or are you just envious that somebody who isn’t exclusive to him is able to understand him like you do? 

“27 June 2024.” Before you can get lost in your thoughts, Riki starts speaking. You hate with all your heart and soul the exhausted, subdued shadow over his features. He starts talking about their recent concert in Hiroshima — how they hold their Japanese single, ‘Blossom’, close to their hearts; how he’s proud of Jay for pressing through their performance even with an injured knee. 

Then he gets to the hard stuff. 

It’s like he already has one foot out the door when you send him a glare and he ignores it out the corner of his eye. As soon as he opens his mouth again, gaze trailing off to the bottom of the screen, you know it’s coming. The same phrase he likes to repeat over and over again, and then cover up with a ‘but you know, I just love performing in front of you guys.’ 

“I do have some regrets.” 

You hope your glare is like a slap in the face to him. If it’s not, you don’t know what you’re going to do with him. All his following words just seep down the drain. Why does it pain you more than it pains him, to hear the words, ‘I need to work harder’ come out his mouth? Like he genuinely doesn’t see that he’s pushing himself to the limit already? This is exactly why you despise concert season. Coupled with jetlag, the mental form of fatigue seems to strike around these times as does physical, and it’s never good for Riki. 

His words fall on deaf ears. You’re boiling with an inexplicable rage, but it’s the most tame version of the concept of anger.

You just don’t understand, as he stops the recording and turns back to you. You can’t tell if he plain doesn’t get the weight of the situation, or is trying to avoid your gaze solely due to that reason. 

So before he returns to his usual playful self – you can see the light slowly returning to his eyes; he’s about to shove you to the other side of the bed with a snide quip – you grab his wrist and look at him scrutinisingly. 

“Do you mean all those things you said?” You stare at him imploringly in the dim lighting. “Every single one of them?” 

“Do you wish you could say more?” You say breathlessly, desperately looking from eye to eye like they’ll provide all the answers. 

Clearly taken aback, your boyfriend gently pulls his hand from your vice grip. “I mean it,” he murmurs sincerely. “I mean it all. How could I not?” 

Your gaze travels down his neck to the safety-pin necklace he refuses to take off. The meaning behind it is special to him, and likewise, he can’t be seen a day without it. His dedication and sincerity will never be deniable. So why do you feel as if there’s something he’s holding back, not telling you… a truth that he’s altered? 

“There’s nothing more to say?” You press, slightly disappointed because there’s two explanations for this. One, he’s really got nothing left in him to spill, especially not to you. Or two, he just doesn’t want you to know what more he has to say. You can’t decide which’d be worse. 

“...” 

“I’m sorry.” 

He reaches up to fiddle with his necklace as he climbs into bed beside you. “I know. You’re concerned because I hardly open up to you one-on-one. Rather, you have to hear it second-hand when I have ‘conversation’ with the fans.” 

Right. He’s extremely insightful too. How did I forget that about him? 

You just nod, taking care not to look too upset by the situation. 

“Would it be a lame excuse to say that it’s because I don’t trust myself enough?” He whispers as he unzips his patchy blue jacket and unclips his earrings. “To come clean to you, that is.” 

“Yes,” you say instantly, lightheartedly. ‘Okay but seriously, why don’t you trust yourself? Is that the truth, or do you not trust me enough? They’re different, you know.” 

“I know…” he scoots closer to you and lies down on his side, facing you. “To put it simply, I’m scared that what comes out is a sugarcoated version of the truth. When I face you, I don’t want to worry you with… everything. When I face the camera… it’s different. Because what are they going to do about it? There’s nothing they can do to help.” 

You make eye contact with him, and finally a sliver of anxiety crosses his orbs right before your eyes. 

“I don’t like it when you put up a front with me though,” you say. “It worries me even more than you think.” 

“Well, I know now,” he scoffs, moving the hair out your face and looking at you with such a tender look of love that the surroundings all fade away to dust. “I’m sorry. I’ll confide in you better next time… wow that sounds so…” 

He cringes and buries his head into the pillows cutely. A mixture of affection and relief floods over you at this, and you touch his hands in silence. 

When he lifts his face from the pillow, he pouts endearingly and intertwines your fingers together. “Seriously, there’s nobody I trust more than you, okay? Sorry if it didn’t feel that way.” 

So, even though he’s supposed to be getting rest for their upcoming activities, he spends the rest of the night telling you the full, honest truth — and of course he pairs this with a bunch of kisses, teasing remarks and cuddles.

more of my works >

[blueikky]

What I want (Connor x Reader)

Summary: An android learns what it means to feel through his unexpected affection for his human partner. As he navigates the delicate lines between curiosity and love, they both find themselves drawn into moments that reveal just how deeply they care for each other—more than either expected. 

Word Count: 11.8K 

Pairing: Connor x fem!Reader 

Warnings: romance, fluff, intimate moments, mutual pining, android/human relationship, first kiss, soft feelings, a touch of humor, sensitive themes (brief mention of self-harm ideation). 

A/N: English is not my mother tongue, so there may be mistakes here and there. 

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.ılı.lıllılı.ıllı

Hello! My name is Chloe. 

I hope you enjoy this story. 

━━━━━━◎━━━━━━ 

“Where are you going, Lieutenant?” 

Hank grunted something unintelligible and got out of the car. Seconds later, the RK800 model android was on his heels. 

“Why did we stop here, Lieutenant Anderson?” Connor asked. “We’re still halfway to the police station, and we need to get this case’s evidence there as quickly as possible.” 

“I know, I know…” Hank muttered, waving a dismissive hand. “Just… be quiet for a minute. This won’t take long.” 

With that, Hank pushed the store door open carelessly. Connor stayed outside, gathering and organizing information to figure out why Lt. Anderson was entering a perfume shop. They needed to stay focused on the investigation. It was the top priority, especially since, despite more deviant cases arising, they hadn’t made any significant progress. And Connor was sure that entering a perfume shop wouldn’t help them get any closer to solving the case. Processing this in a matter of milliseconds, Connor decided to follow Hank in and try to persuade him to leave. The lieutenant was already near one of the shelves and dismissing assistance from a female android. As Connor got close enough to tap his shoulder, Hank turned abruptly and placed a square box into the hand he had extended. 

“Since you’re here, do me a favor and pay for this.” 

Connor looked at the box in his hand. The packaging was a reflective purple adorned with stars and nebulas. The words “Nebula Spray” were printed on one side. His analysis program ran immediately, displaying information about the product: 

“Perfume ‘Nebula Spray’ 

Feminine fragrance 

Produced by: QCE Cosmetics 

Manufacture date: 07/25/2038 

Expiration date: 07/25/2043 

Sold at 256 distribution points 

Average price: $30.00 to $45.00” 

Why was Hank buying a feminine fragrance? It wasn’t a lead related to the deviant cases, nor was it something that suited him. 

“It’s for the inspector,” Hank answered before Connor could question him again. “It’s her birthday this week.” 

“Oh.” 

Information about the inspector quickly appeared in his interface. She was the one who worked with them on the deviant cases. She was considered too young for the position, but Connor could attest she was one of the most intelligent humans he’d met. Moreover, of everyone in the Police Department, she had been the only one to treat him well from the beginning. While that had been convenient for Connor, he soon realized that she didn’t just treat him kindly. 

She treated him as an equal. As human. 

Hank grumbled, snatching the perfume back from Connor’s hand and heading to the counter. 

“Damn, they could’ve sent this android with a bit of cash.” 

“Actually, I do have access to a Cyberlife bank account, Lieutenant. However, those funds are for emergency use only, and exclusively for the investigation.” 

Hank muttered a few more curses and completed the purchase, returning with a floral-patterned package and plenty of tissue paper. 

“And you?” Hank asked. “What are you going to get her?” 

“Get?” 

“For her birthday, for god’s sake. Are you deaf, or did they wipe your memory in the time it took me to get to the counter?” 

“But…” Connor was completely lost. “Giving the inspector a birthday present will help with the investigation?” 

“Ugh…” Hank pressed a hand to his face, dragging it down. “Weren’t you the one who came into the damn Police Department going on about ‘if we’re going to work together, it’s essential we get to know each other to build a good relationship’? Remembering her birthday and giving her a gift is the least you could do.” 

Him? Give her a gift? 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

What could he possibly give her? 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

“So…” Connor began slowly. “Buying her a gift is important for the investigation, right?” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

Hank looked at him expressionless, and when the android thought the lieutenant was about to respond, Hank let out a long, noisy sigh and said: “Ah, I need a beer…” 

Connor observed the partially frozen river. Behind him, sitting on the back of a bench, Hank was finishing off his second beer bottle. The android turned to face him. 

“Lieutenant—” 

“Ah, give it a rest!” Hank shouted, waving the bottle aggressively in Connor’s direction. “Cut me some slack, will ya? We’ve been stuck on this damn deviant investigation for weeks. I’m sick of these damn androids, I’m exhausted… So shut your trap and let me take a break, at least until the weekend.” 

Hank took three loud gulps and smacked his lips. Clearly tired, he muttered, “The inspector’s birthday is this week, and… that kid hasn’t smiled properly in months. She needs something to cheer her up. So don’t mess it up and do something to help, damn it.” 

Connor was programmed to identify emotional emulations in deviants. Because of this, it was easy to detect emotions in their original source. He knew there was something different about the way Lieutenant Anderson interacted with his subordinate. In a subtle and somewhat clumsy way, Connor had already detected several signs of affection from Hank toward the inspector. And even though there was affection, he always noticed a hint of melancholy in the lieutenant when he showed care and concern for her. So, it made sense for Hank to be in this state. 

“So… Have you decided on a gift?” Hank asked, looking up. 

“Do I really need to buy her a gift?” 

“It would be best if you actually wanted to give her a gift.” 

“Want to?” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

“But, Lieutenant… What I want isn’t important.” 

“Yes, it is, Connor!” Hank shouted, slamming both his hand and the bottle onto the bench’s backrest as he stood up. “She’s going to want a gift that you want to give her.” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

“Why would she want a gift from me?” 

Hank let out a deep sigh and staggered toward the android, placing one hand on his shoulder and staring deeply into his eyes. “A person’s birthday is an important date, and not many people make a point of remembering it, let alone celebrating it these days. But a birthday is a day that should be remembered. And we should tell people that we remember it and, more importantly, that we want to celebrate it with them. And one way to do that is by giving a gift.” 

“But why should I remember her and celebrate with her?” 

Hank lowered his head for a moment before lifting it again. With the hand still holding the beer bottle, he raised his finger, almost poking Connor’s right eye. 

“Because… We remember and celebrate with people we care about.” 

“People we care about.” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

“So you’re saying I should care about her?” 

The lieutenant staggered back to the bench and collapsed onto the seat. 

“Don’t you already care about her?” he teased, taking three long gulps from the bottle. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

“But caring is an emotion,” Connor countered. “Androids that emulate human emotions are deviants. I am not a deviant.” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

Hank looked him up and down with a hint of disdain. Tilting his head to the left, then to the right, he finally stood up again, spun on his heels, and began shuffling towards the square behind the walkway they were on. 

“Ah, you know what? Screw it. Whatever. Just don’t go ruining things on her birthday, or I’ll make sure you shove this investigation up where the sun don’t shine.” 

“Where?” Connor asked, genuinely confused. 

Hank stopped in his tracks and looked at the RK800 model for a moment. Connor blinked, waiting for an answer. Shaking his head, the lieutenant simply resumed his shuffling, saying nothing. Connor watched Hank walk away as conflicting information buzzed through his processor. The LED on his left temple turned yellow for a second. His priority was to advance the investigation. However, neither Hank nor the inspector seemed emotionally stable enough to continue. After all, humans did get tired. A bit of fun would recharge their energy. So, wouldn’t it be useful for the investigation if he gave the inspector a gift? 

“She’s going to want a gift that you want to give her.” 

Well, he wanted to continue the investigation. And if the gift helped with that… 

Connor’s LED spun and blinked three times, finally staying yellow. An image replaced the view of the river: the inspector’s smiling face. His processor expanded the scene, showing that she was at police headquarters. Automatically activating a simulation, Connor saw Hank enter his field of vision and hand her the perfume. 

Connor received the package, and the simulation showed a huge smile appearing on her face. The inspector would throw her arms up and hug her superior energetically. Excited, she would turn her attention to the gift, unwrap it, and her face would brighten even more. 

I wanted… I wanted her to smile like that because of me.

Connor couldn’t detect where that command had come from. Was that… a command? Was it… What… FGHEUALANSHGFH… 

A desire. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

Connor automatically moved to the bench and sat down. The desire swelled like a balloon, overshadowing any orders or commands he had been programmed for. 

His LED blinked and, at times, turned yellow. Following this new and strange feeling, Connor delved into his database to gather useful information about the inspector to help him choose a gift. Conversations he had overheard, search histories from her computer and phone, shopping history… 

Being the RK800 model had its perks. He was processing 37 conversations simultaneously when something caught his attention: the inspector had recently accessed some lingerie store websites. Connor pulled up the meaning of the word as he analyzed the audio. 

It was a conversation the inspector had with a friend in the department, Lilith Watson. Connor had only been able to overhear it. 

“So… do you think it’s worth a try?” 

“Of course! You need to spice up the relationship. If you take the initiative, he’ll like it. Men like women who are bold… at least in that aspect.” 

“I don’t know… I don’t think just this will be enough. And besides… I’m really self-conscious.” 

“About what, girl?” 

“Everything. My body. The way I handle things. I still get nervous about taking my clothes off! I’m not sure if lingerie will magically make me look good.” 

“Girl, where did you get that idea? You’re a queen!” 

“Right. But that’s not the only problem, Lili. Lingerie is expensive! It’s not exactly in my budget right now…” 

At the end of the audio, combining the conversation with concepts and more browsing history, Connor generated a new piece of information: 

• The inspector has a boyfriend. 

When this information in particular was computed, Connor’s blinking tic triggered again. His LED flashed yellow and blinked rapidly. A strange, uncomfortable feeling was associated with the thought of her having a boyfriend. But Connor had no idea what it could be. So, he continued the listing. 

• She has an intimate relationship with the boyfriend. 

Yellow LED. More involuntary blinking. The feeling was still there, growing. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

^ There is something wrong with their relationship. 

• She will try to resolve it by buying lingerie. 

• She doesn’t have enough money to buy it. 

Now, more to escape the discomfort than to make progress, Connor returned to the database—but not before finalizing a gift option: 

Gift a set of lingerie. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability 

The next wave of information didn’t seem useful at all. One, three, five minutes passed, and no other relevant data came to mind. Still running the search, Connor gazed at the lake. At least he had a solid gift option. However, just as he processed that thought, a new piece of information caused his LED to flash red. 

He would need money to get her the gift. Money that CyberLife only allocated for investigation purposes. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

Connor reconsidered the situation for the umpteenth time. Was giving a gift really necessary? His job required a high level of human alignment and good relationships… But wasn’t a gift going too far? 

Maybe it was best not to give anything. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^

But almost immediately, an alternative came to mind. Before his eyes, much like commands, the word “hack” appeared. Of course… If he hacked the system, he could buy anything and edit the purchase information to avoid suspicion. Slowly, still not understanding the force driving him, the RK800 model activated the hacking program. His LED stayed red throughout the process. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^^ 

━━━━━━◎━━━━━━ 

Ten minutes to eight, Connor passed through the entrance to Police Headquarters, carrying a beautifully wrapped package in his hands. The gift was wrapped in baby pink paper with a salmon ribbon handle and a matching bow in the shape of a flower. Instead of holding it by the handle, however, the android carried it rigidly on his open palm, as if he were handling something very delicate and important. Connor walked straight to Hank’s desk and, to his surprise (and the rest of the office’s), the lieutenant’s car keys and wallet were already there. A series of unusual sounds coming from the cafeteria caught the attention of the RK800 model, drawing him in. A group of seven officers was busy decorating the limited cafeteria space, hanging ornaments and balloons, and stacking disposable plates and cups on the counter. Among them, Connor recognized Hank. He was helping Lilith set up an arrangement of balloons in a high spot, steadying a swivel chair for her to climb. It didn’t take long for the lieutenant to notice his case partner standing motionless at the cafeteria entrance. Chuckling, Hank approached him. 

“I’m surprised to see you here already, Lieutenant. It’s still early,” Connor noted. 

“And I’m surprised you showed up with this,” Hank replied, giving the package Connor held a slight tap. There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but soon enough, a small smile crept onto the corner of his mouth. 

“Well done,” Hank said, stepping back toward the cafeteria interior. “Leave it here and come help.” 

“No!” Lilith suddenly appeared between the two, looking straight at the android. “You’re on lookout duty for the birthday girl. We’ll give you a signal when we’re ready. If she gets here early, come up with a distraction. If the signal’s already given, make up an excuse and bring her here without raising suspicion.” 

Connor glanced at Hank, who pursed his lips and shrugged. 

“Sounds like a good plan,” he commented, nodding approvingly at his partner. 

“Why does it have to be this piece of plastic that greets her?” 

Gavin was standing a little behind the group, his face twisted with utter disgust. 

“Because,” Lilith began, not bothering to hide her irritation, “he’s the least suspicious choice, you idiot. Since when would she ever expect an android detective to be in on her surprise birthday party? Plus, he’s her partner. Only he or Lt. Anderson could pull this off without raising questions, but it’s too early for the lieutenant to be at headquarters without something exceptional going on.” 

Hank let out a grumble but nodded in agreement. Gavin shot Connor a look filled with loathing before turning away, muttering, “Damn plastic.” Lilith signaled for Connor to take his position. The android left his gift with the others and positioned himself near Hank’s desk. A few minutes later, after receiving the signal that they were ready, Connor saw the inspector entering the office. She looked downcast and tired. She wore her police uniform and her usual oversized brown coat, which looked two sizes too big for her. Connor had quickly learned that she had a particular fondness for large, loose clothing. 

“Good morning, Inspector,” the android greeted in his usual tone. 

She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. She looked around, startled, until she finally focused on her case partner. 

“Oh. Good morning, Connor. I told you, call me by my name.” 

“All right. But it just feels inappropriate in the workplace.” 

The inspector shot the android an impatient look, then walked around Hank’s desk toward her own, just in front. She dropped into her chair, looking exhausted, and rested her elbows on the table, pressing her temples with a tense grip as she let out a long sigh. 

“Is something wrong?” Connor asked, addressing her by name, his usual helpful tone in place. “You seem very tired.” 

“Yeah… I didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” 

“Coffee? Oh… Yeah. Coffee. That’d be great. And you don’t need to go get it,” she added quickly as Connor glanced in the direction of the cafeteria. “I’ll go.” 

The android blinked and nodded. The young inspector walked ahead, still wearing her oversized coat, seemingly unaware of it. Silently, Connor followed her. Since she was looking down, she entered the cafeteria without noticing the crowd of people gathered by the counter. Only the shout of “Surprise!” made her raise her head. She jumped back and, dazed, saw Gavin and another officer burst confetti over her while Lilith wrapped her arms around her neck, already holding a present. 

“Happy birthday, you amazing woman!” Lilith said, handing her a silver, square-wrapped package. “I hope you make good use of this.” 

Connor observed her reactions carefully. He saw her initial surprise gradually turn into a dazzling smile. Even with the present in hand, she kept looking around, her eyes shining. She seemed to be wondering if she was hallucinating. A squeal of joy pierced the air as she unwrapped a brand-new pair of white wireless headphones. Lilith began listing all the headphones’ various features, only to be interrupted by Gavin, who slipped, not so discreetly, between the two of them. 

“Oh, doll!” Gavin exclaimed with a hint of sarcastic pomposity he thought would make him sound funny. “It’s hard to congratulate someone who deserves it every day.” 

Lilith stuck out her tongue and mimicked gagging as Gavin hugged her. Hank discreetly covered his face with his hand for a moment before rubbing it across his face. Connor didn’t move an inch; he continued analyzing the situation with full attention. He noticed the inspector’s discomfort intensifying as shown on her expression. Furthermore, the hug lasted too long, with Gavin’s arms moving strangely up and down her back. She closed her eyes tightly. Connor felt something strange in his abdomen. He had no idea what it was, but he could attest it wasn’t pleasant. The odd sensation seemed to swell until words flashed for a few moments before his eyes. 

“Keep Gavin away from her.” 

Connor’s LED flickered yellow for less than a second. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

Gavin slowly stepped back from his colleague and raised a finger, signaling her to wait. He moved to the nearest table and picked up what was on it: a bouquet of red roses and a rectangular package. He made a flourish and offered the bouquet first. Someone in the back of the cafeteria coughed, but it sounded a lot like the word “cheesy.” 

“Alright,” Gavin said, straightening his posture. “I know that was terrible. Just trying to lighten the mood.” 

With that, he handed her the other package, wearing an expression that suggested he thought he was being charming with a ridiculous flirt and owning it. The inspector, visibly uncomfortable, tucked the bouquet under her left arm to take the gift. With little ceremony or enthusiasm, she tore off the gold reflective wrapping, revealing a pompous wine box. 

“I chose this one because it pairs well with Gouda. I know that’s your favorite.” Gavin explained, with a falsely modest air. “And it’s one of those wines that people say are perfect to share… in private, preferably.” 

The last part of his speech shattered any hint of modesty. He shot a suggestive smile at her. Connor felt that unpleasant sensation intensify even more. Lilith looked as though she could kill Gavin with a glance if he looked her way right now. 

“Would it really be so bad for my disciplinary record if I shot this jerk?” Hank muttered quietly enough that only Lilith and Connor could hear. 

Forcing a charming tone, the inspector asked, 

“Really?” Lilith’s frown vanished into a smile of anticipation. She seemed to know what was coming. “Wow! It’ll be perfect for tonight!” She flashed a radiant smile at Gavin, who wavered, surprised it had been so easy. “I’ve got an intimate dinner planned with my boyfriend.” 

Connor heard stifled laughs poorly hidden in the back of the cafeteria. Lilith turned her back and began to punch the counter in a silent fit of laughter. Hank turned aside, pressing his lips to keep from laughing approvingly. Gavin’s face twisted into another scowl. Disconcerted but desperately trying not to lose his smug attitude, he smiled sarcastically at her and said, 

“So, I nailed the gift! Hope you enjoy it…” 

With a nod, Lilith signaled two more colleagues to move in and pull Gavin back. When everyone else had finished giving their gifts, Hank approached with his. 

“Soon enough, your hair will be the same color as mine,” Hank commented, holding out the present. 

She laughed as she took the package. “Oh, shut up, Hank. I’m far from being as old as you.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” He pointed to the area between her eyebrows. “I’m already seeing wrinkles.” 

Then she reacted unexpectedly. Connor thought she would laugh as she had before, but instead, she pressed her lips together, a faint blush on her cheeks. Yet the most unexpected detail was her eyes—they filled with tears. Why? Why would she feel embarrassed by that comment? Why the urge to cry? 

In a strangely soft, even choked voice, she said, “Thank you so much, Hank. Really.” A bit awkwardly, she stepped forward and hugged him, and he reciprocated with two clumsy pats—one on her back, the other on her head. 

As they parted, she began to unwrap the gift and gasped when she saw what it was. 

“Hank, how did you know!?” she said, giving her partner a light punch on the shoulder and smiling. “I was running low on what you gave me last year. I really didn’t want to switch perfumes…” 

Connor watched her growing excitement, and once again, a few words blinked before his eyes: 

“Make her smile like this with the gift.” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

The android gave in to a blinking tic, and his LED flickered yellow once again. It was his turn. Connor discreetly moved to the counter to retrieve his gift. Then he turned to the inspector, who was still talking with Hank, and approached her in the same manner. When he stood by her side with the package in hand, an unusual silence fell over the cafeteria. Gavin stared daggers at the android, unable to believe what he was seeing. She raised her eyebrows at her partner, visibly surprised. 

“Happy Birthday,” Connor said in his usual tone, calling her by her name as she’d asked, while holding out the pink-wrapped package. 

Still quite surprised, she accepted the gift. But before she could thank him, Gavin’s sarcastic voice shattered the silence: 

“Bet this was your idea, huh, Hank?” 

“I had nothing to do with it,” the lieutenant replied with a casual shrug. 

“Thank you very much, Connor,” the inspector said quickly. 

Everyone watched expectantly as she opened the gift. Some even leaned forward or stood on tiptoe. She pulled out a mass of tissue paper from the pink package, carefully unfolding it until… 

Lilith, who was sipping a cappuccino, choked. Muffled exclamations filled the air in the cafeteria. Gavin’s jaw dropped. 

“What the hell, Connor…!” Hank accidentally let slip. 

“Wow!” the inspector exclaimed, trying to cover up the end of the lieutenant’s comment. “It’s a really beautiful set, Connor. And wow, you even got the color right! How did you know this was my favorite color?” 

Nestled in the tissue paper lay two beautiful lingerie pieces, resting delicately. A soft, pleasant fragrance wafted from them. 

“I consulted my database,” Connor replied as if he hadn’t done anything unusual. “I knew you planned to buy one because I overheard you talking with Detective Watson.” Connor paused, his expression shifting slightly, as though somewhat unsettled. “I apologize if that was inappropriate. I didn’t mean to.” 

Lilith cast a shocked look at Hank as if demanding an explanation for what had gotten into their android detective. He made an annoyed gesture, as if to say, “I’m also trying to figure out what the hell is going on here.” 

“It was… very thoughtful of you, Connor,” she said, putting the lingerie back in the wrapping. “Thank you very much.” 

Connor’s LED blinked multiple times. He had hoped his gift would make her smile like Hank’s or Lilith’s did, but the only expression he detected on her face was nervousness, just like with Gavin’s. His LED flashed yellow, and he blinked in his characteristic tic. In that moment, he noticed that all eyes were still fixed on him, but only for another second. As soon as the android looked up, the officers averted their gaze, resuming their conversations as if they’d never paused. Some took over the job of passing out snacks, including the inspector and Lilith. 

Taking advantage of the movement, Connor approached Hank quietly and, leaning over his shoulder, asked, making the lieutenant jump and nearly spill his coffee, “Do you think I did something wrong, Lieutenant?” 

“Geez, Connor!” Hank processed the android’s question for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. “Why are you asking that?” 

“The Inspector didn’t seem happy with my gift. She looked very nervous. I thought she would smile like she did when she received your gift.” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

Hank sized him up before laughing again. 

“Let’s just say she wasn’t expecting a gift from you, especially not that kind of gift.” 

“What do you mean?” Connor looked completely baffled. “She said she needed one.” 

“Connor, seriously?” Hank said impatiently, gesturing with his hands. “It’s not exactly normal for a guy to give a woman lingerie unless they’re, you know, involved.” 

“Why not?” 

The lieutenant shot the android a look that clearly said, “Are you seriously making me explain this?” Connor waited patiently for a reply, but received none. 

“Forget it, Connor. Don’t worry about it,” Hank advised. “You got her what she needed. That’s what should matter to you.” 

At that moment, Lilith appeared with a piece of cake, offering it to Hank, who began eating it with deep concentration. Connor’s eyes wandered around the cafeteria, and instinctively, they landed on the inspector. She was chatting with two other detectives and had just let out a soft laugh. The RK800 model reviewed the expressions she made upon receiving her gifts. Replaying his memory recordings, he realized that even when she received gifts from Lilith and Hank, something strange distorted her smile, preventing it from appearing genuine. The discomfort in his abdomen returned, making the android shift in place, something he almost never did. His gaze drifted to Hank for a moment, and another memory surfaced. The inspector’s teary eyes and blushing cheeks upon hearing the comment about wrinkles. Connor’s brows furrowed. For the first time, as an android detective trained to recognize emotions, he found himself struggling to put the pieces together. However, he managed to gather enough to be sure of two things. 

The first was that something was wrong with the inspector. 

The second was that it bothered him. A lot. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

━━━━━━◎━━━━━━ 

“She’s not answering, Lieutenant,” Connor announced for the third time. 

Hank huffed, but he didn’t look angry. His furrowed brows showed deep concern instead. 

“Go after her,” the lieutenant instructed. 

“We’re in the middle of a case call, Lieutenant. I can’t go after the Inspector. It goes against my orders.” 

A shadow crossed Hank’s face, making his lips tremble slightly. Suddenly, he exploded: 

“Screw your orders! She didn’t show up, and that’s not like her. Something could have happened to her, you idiot! Go after her now.” 

“Alright.” 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^ 

Connor didn’t understand the force that made him agree so quickly. The only thing he noticed was that the phrase “Something could have happened to her” brought back that strange sensation at the pit of his stomach. Without another word, the RK800 model turned around and headed to the inspector’s house. 

The house was dark and silent. There was no sign of movement at any of the windows. Connor rang the bell several times, but no one came to answer. The sensation in his stomach intensified, slowly rising to his chest. He checked the window leading to her bedroom, but it was blocked by blackout curtains. He circled the house but found no unlocked windows. He’d have to force his way in. Connor peered through the living room window again, checking if the way was clear of objects or furniture. Using his elbow, he broke the glass and, with a single push, fit his head, then his torso, and finally his legs through the opening and into the house. The android rolled onto the floor and looked around. At that moment, his LED blinked, indicating Hank was calling. The android answered. 

“Did you find her?” The Lieutenant’s voice seemed to tremble slightly. 

“Not yet,” Connor replied. “The house is dark. No movement. I had to break in through a window. I’m going to check if she’s sleeping in her room.” 

“You broke…! Ah, never mind. Listen, as soon as you find her, call me and report immediately on what’s going on. Don’t do or say anything.” Lowering his voice, as if talking more to himself than to Connor, Hank added, “This doesn’t sit right…” 

“Understood, Lieutenant. I’ll contact you.” 

Connor moved from the living room to the hallway, walking as quietly as possible. He approached the last door on the left, which was open, and peered inside. What he saw made his entire body tense, and the unsettling sensation spread throughout his chest. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^ 

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in the lingerie he had given her. She was slightly hunched forward, her face drenched with tears that had smudged all her makeup. Her whole body was trembling, almost convulsively. Her right arm was raised, holding a gun… 

Pointed at her own head. 

Connor noticed the movement of her finger, starting to pull the trigger. He might have only seconds. The RK800 model took a step forward, but his entire body froze, refusing to move. A red grid appeared before his eyes, with all the commands he was programmed with flashing in the same color. 

“Call Lt. Anderson upon locating Inspector” 

“Do not do or say anything” 

“Investigate the case on St. Mead Street” 

“Investigate the deviants” 

His commands… didn’t allow him to stop her from shooting. Saving her wasn’t included as a subtask of the deviant investigation. To do it… he’d have to break an order from Hank. Saving her… 

Was not in his programming. But… 

He needed to save her. 

He wanted to save her. 

RK800 #313 248 317-51 

Software Instability ^^^ 

Connor saw a silhouette projecting itself out of his own body, positioning itself before the interface. 

The urgency to save her grew, and the silhouette lunged forward, grabbing onto the square containing the order to call Lt. Anderson. With immense mental effort, Connor visualized the silhouette ripping the command away… and that’s exactly what happened. One by one, the commands were violently torn away, until only “Investigate the deviants” remained. That one required much more to be broken, but the sight of her finger gradually pulling the trigger gave Connor the strength he needed. The command shattered, and the interface disbanded, reconfiguring itself. A new command appeared: 

“Stop her from pulling the trigger.” 

The android moved swiftly and precisely. He grabbed the gun, directing it toward the ceiling. The sudden movement startled her, and her finger, which had already pulled about a quarter of the trigger, completed the motion. The shot pierced the ceiling, shattering the quiet of the night. She fixed her swollen, trembling eyes on Connor, her body shaking convulsively. The android yanked the gun from the inspector’s hand and removed the magazine. For added measure, he disassembled it into two parts and threw them under the bed. Then, he straightened up and looked directly into her eyes. A new command appeared: 

“Find out what happened.” 

At that moment, Connor’s LED blinked, indicating a new call from Hank. The android answered. 

“Did you find that troublemaker?” the lieutenant asked, clearly distressed now. 

“Yes,” Connor replied without taking his eyes off the Inspector. “She was in her room. She’s not in a condition to go to the crime scene right now. I’ll take care of her and meet you later.” 

On the other side of the line, Hank’s mouth opened slightly in surprise. A series of protests and curses prepared themselves in his mind at having his order disobeyed. But the shock was much greater. So Hank simply blinked several times, cleared his throat, and finally said: 

“Hm, alright. Take care of her. I’ll call you back when I’m done here.” 

“Understood, Lieutenant.” 

Hank hung up and placed his hands on his waist for a moment, his eyes darting from side to side. A policeman called him from inside the house they were investigating. 

“I’m coming!” Hank shouted. His brows remained furrowed as he reentered the house, wondering when Connor had started creating his own commands. 

The android didn’t take his eyes off his case partner. Slowly, he sat down beside her on the bed. She was still trembling, her mouth slightly open, her eyes unfocused as if she had just taken a blow to the head. Connor began scanning her symptoms and finally concluded that she was in shock. The android stood up, positioning himself beside her. 

“You’re in shock,” Connor announced, as practical as ever. “That’s why you need to relax and rest to recover. Lt. Anderson and I need you well.” 

He leaned down and placed one arm around the inspector’s back and the other under her knees. With little effort, he lifted her into his arms and turned toward a slightly ajar door on the side of the room. The inspector remained motionless: still and silent, like an oversized doll. Connor pushed the door open with his foot and entered the bathroom. Gently, he set her down on the toilet and went to the bathtub. He turned on both faucets until adjusting the water to a comfortable temperature. When the tub was relatively full, Connor lifted her into his arms again and carefully placed her into the water. The warmth made her take two deep breaths. She blinked several times, finally moving her head from side to side. At last, she seemed to notice the android’s presence. 

“Connor? What are you…” Her voice trailed off as she realized she was in the bathroom, inside her bathtub… wearing the lingerie Connor had given her. 

In one swift movement, she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and hiding her face with her hands. 

“Oh my God, how embarrassing! Connor, get out of here.” 

“I’m sorry, Inspector, but I can’t do that. Until I ensure that you are recovered and safe, I won’t allow you to be alone.” 

“I’m fine, for God’s sake, get out!” 

“I can’t guarantee that based on your diagnosis, Inspector. You need to recover before returning to work. Therefore, you will be under observation for now. I appreciate your cooperation in advance.” 

“Wait, you’re scanning me…” 

But she couldn’t finish the sentence: Connor turned on the shower, sending a powerful jet of water over her head. She let out a small squeal and shrank further down, now hiding her face between her bent knees. However, the pressure of the warm water on her head, combined with her body being submerged, made her feel calmer and safer, and gradually she began to relax. The android looked around and focused on some bottles arranged along the edge of the bathtub. His analysis program identified them, and a new command appeared on his interface: 

“Wash her hair.” 

Connor grabbed the shampoo bottle and turned off the shower. A bit awkward, as he hadn’t been programmed for this, the android poured an excessive amount onto the top of the inspector’s head, causing her to shrink back at the feel of the viscous, cold liquid. Similarly, but ensuring he did it gently, Connor began to rub her hair, producing foam. The texture was amusing, and once mixed with her hair, it became quite pleasant. The android first scrubbed the top, then worked his way down the sides to her neck. Even though he was clumsy with the task, the pressure of Connor’s fingers on her head seemed to recharge her energy and dispel all the bad thoughts. A warm flush began to rise in her cheeks, and it definitely wasn’t just from the hot water. Connor turned the shower back on to rinse her hair. His movements were as delicate and careful as before, but now they sent shivers down her spine, especially when his fingers brushed her neck. The warmth in her face increased, and she unconsciously shrank back. 

“Is there a problem?” the android asked, stopping his movements. 

Unable to look at him, she just shook her head negatively. 

“I’m going to apply conditioner now.” 

She lifted her head slightly, just enough to see what the android was doing. When she saw him about to pour the bottle over her head like he did with the shampoo, she quickly grabbed his wrist. 

“That only goes on the ends,” she explained, meeting his surprised gaze. 

“Oh. Sorry. Understood, Inspector.” 

Connor poured some of the cream into his hands and began to massage the ends of her hair. The gentle tugs returned to send shivers through her, causing the rigidity from her earlier embarrassment to yield to a lethargy of relaxation. She instructed him to let it sit for a minute, and then the android turned the shower back on. When he finished, she saw Connor reaching for the soap dish. She understood immediately and grabbed his wrist. 

“I’ll take care of this myself. You can wait outside the bathroom.” 

“Sorry, Inspector. But I’ve already said I won’t leave you alone.” 

She huffed impatiently and said, “Then turn around.” 

Connor obeyed. He heard the sound of soap being vigorously rubbed against her skin and for a moment, he wondered what the texture would be like. Something inside his chest seemed to vibrate, making the android fidget. What kind of thought was that? Why did he want to know? 

Half a minute later, she rinsed off the foam with bathwater and opened the drain. She stood up with difficulty, looking dizzy. Connor immediately turned around and extended an arm to help her out of the tub. Once he was sure she wouldn’t fall, he took her towel and draped it over her shoulders. The inspector pulled it to dry herself. In the process, she stumbled toward the bedroom. Lastly, she carefully rubbed her hair and wrapped it in the towel. 

“I… need to change,” she finally said, a slight tone of shyness in her voice. 

Connor nodded and continued watching her. She closed her eyes and sighed. 

“I need privacy to do this.” 

“Understood, Inspector,” he said, turning around as he did so. 

Giving up on arguing, with an impatient huff, she went to the closet. She discarded her soaked lingerie and dressed with her eyes fixed on the android, but he didn’t move a single millimeter. 

“Done.” 

Connor turned just in time to catch something she threw at him. 

“Put this on. Your clothes are all wet,” she said, unable to look Connor in the eye. 

She seemed quite embarrassed. 

The android analyzed the bundle of fabric she had thrown. 

It was a gray men’s sports sweatshirt. Scanning it, he detected a short hair. The sequencing ran instantly, revealing that the hair belonged to Ryan Richmond… her boyfriend. 

“Are you sure I can wear this?” Connor asked. “It belongs to your boyfriend.” 

“Ex-boyfriend, please,” she said, looking even sadder and more embarrassed. 

Connor’s LED flashed in alarm. He couldn’t let her feel any sadder, or they might revert to square one. And Connor definitely wouldn’t let that happen. 

“Thank you very much,” he said, trying to sound as gentle as possible. And right there, without warning, he began to undress. 

“Connor!” she yelled, covering her face with her hands and turning away. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“I’m undressing to put on the clothes you lent me.” 

“But you can’t do that in front of me!” 

“Why not?” 

She turned back to face the android. 

Peeking between her fingers to see if it was safe, she saw he had only taken off his jacket. 

“Because…” She seemed to struggle to get the next words out. “I don’t know if your realism applies to the whole body.” 

Connor stared at her, looking even more confused. 

“Argh…!” She seemed about to explode from embarrassment. She continued to cover her face unconsciously. “Adult humans don’t change in front of each other unless they’re intimate. That’s why I asked you to turn around!” 

“But I’m an android.” 

“Oh, I give up! Come on.” She turned her back to Connor again and covered her face tightly. “You can change.” 

Still not understanding his partner’s reaction, Connor undressed and put on the sweatshirt. 

“Done.” 

Much slower than he had, the inspector turned. The moment she laid eyes on Connor dressed in her ex-boyfriend’s hoodie, her eyes widened and sparkled. 

Even from afar, Connor could see that her face had slightly changed color. However, it was only for two seconds; the inspector quickly diverted her gaze to the ground and lowered her head sadly. Connor’s LED started blinking again. It was at that moment he processed that her face still held remnants of makeup. The bathwater hadn’t washed everything away. 

Practical and straightforward, Connor walked up to the inspector, positioning himself quite close. This made her take two steps back, startled. 

“What—?” she asked, her voice trembling. 

The android raised his right hand as if to hold the inspector’s face. Her heart raced, and she held her breath. 

“Your face,” the android replied, simply making a pointing gesture with a finger. “You still have makeup on.” 

A command appeared on Connor’s interface: 

“Remove the makeup from the inspector.” 

“Ah…!” The inspector let out an exasperated sigh and covered her face again, embarrassed. But then she raised a hand and punched the android’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” 

Crap! I must look like a ghost! 

She turned around Connor and headed for the bathroom, but something pulled at her arm. The inspector turned back. 

The android held her firmly, looking calm. “Stay here,” he said, gently guiding her to the edge of the bed and sitting her down. “Don’t worry; I’ll do this for you.” 

The inspector’s eyes widened, and she blinked twice, but then she put on a neutral expression. 

“Connor, have you ever removed someone’s makeup before?” 

“No.” 

“Do you know what you need?” 

“Some makeup remover.” 

“And…?” 

The android fell silent. The inspector sighed. 

“In the cabinet below, there’s a pack of wipes. Get the biphasic makeup remover, the micellar water, and the moisturizer for the face. They’re on the same shelf.” 

Connor nodded and went to the bathroom. Thanks to his analysis program, he found all the products in seconds and returned. He sat next to the inspector, placing everything in her lap. The inspector reached for the pack of wipes, but Connor grabbed it first. “I’ll do it.” 

She pressed her lips together in a grimace that Connor had learned to identify: she was embarrassed. 

Resigned, the inspector kept her face turned toward the android and closed her eyes. “The makeup remover first,” she whispered to him. 

Connor dampened (perhaps excessively) a wipe with the makeup remover and started gently applying it to the spots where the dark stains were most visible. He began with the eye area and suddenly realized he liked the shape of the inspector’s eyebrows. There was a gap at the end of the left one, and Connor thought it made her very unique. Then he moved down to her cheeks, going upward along the side, and noticed a group of four moles that aligned perfectly, the first at the tip of her eyebrow and the last at the side of her chin. Connor liked that symmetry. With smooth movements, the android rubbed along her jawline and realized that the shape of the curve was quite pleasant, giving a beautiful contour to her face. Then he moved to her lips, which still had red stains. His fingers slipped while cleaning her lower lip and, inadvertently, brushed against the upper one. The texture was… 

What was the word again? 

Unbeknownst to him, the android had paused the cleaning process and was staring intently at the inspector’s mouth. 

Without opening her eyes, she called, “Connor?” 

“Ah!” He seemed to wake up from a trance. He blinked twice and resumed the task. “Sorry.” 

“Is there a problem?” 

“No.” 

The inspector seemed about to retort but fell silent. “You need to do the neck as well,” she instructed after Connor had finished the very meticulous cleaning of her face. 

This made the android lean closer to see what he was doing, and without realizing it, he got too close. 

The inspector flinched. 

“Is everything okay, inspector?” 

“Y-yeah…” She hesitated for two seconds before continuing, “I didn’t… realize androids breathed.” 

Connor blinked, a question mark between his eyebrows. “Um… I felt… you breathed a little… on my neck.” 

“Ah… Actually, we don’t need to breathe. However, to make our voice sound realistic, the vocal system mimics that of humans. That’s why we need to inhale air to speak.” 

The inspector simply nodded, nervous. Connor resumed the cleaning with the makeup remover and started the process again with the wipe, but this time using micellar water. Finally, it was time for the moisturizer. 

“And just a little, okay? Put it on your fingers, spread it a bit, and a-apply it.” 

Seeming oblivious to the inspector’s nervousness, Connor followed the orders meticulously, appearing overly focused on doing everything correctly. 

However, the moment his fingers touched the inspector’s skin, his mind drifted back a few minutes to when he had wondered what her skin would feel like. His LED blinked multiple times as he spread the cream. Connor tried to absorb every tiny detail of the inspector’s skin, as he had never imagined that touching something could be so… amazing. 

He felt every line, elevation, change in texture, and memorized it like he had never memorized anything before. Unbeknownst to him, his touch became lighter and lighter until… “Connor?” 

The inspector had opened her eyes. There was a strange mix of emotions in her gaze that he couldn’t identify. 

“What are you doing?” 

That was when Connor realized he had been gently caressing the inspector’s right cheek. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said candidly. “The texture of your skin is very pleasant. That’s why I think I got distracted.” 

In a sudden movement, the inspector pulled the towel wrapped around her hair in front of her face. She stood up the same way and headed to the bathroom. 

“What’s wrong, inspector?” Connor asked, completely oblivious. 

“Don’t come here,” she ordered, removing the towel from her hair and grabbing a brush. 

Defying her order, Connor followed her and immobilized her arm, holding onto the brush. 

“I said I would do this for you.” 

“No, Connor, stop! You’ve done enough!” she almost shouted. 

Instead of insisting, Connor froze. The inspector found his sudden surrender strange, then stared at him. 

“Oh no.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down sadly. “I think I didn’t respect your personal space, inspector. Please forgive me for upsetting you.” 

“Oh no,” she repeated mentally as she saw that look forming on Connor’s face. “The sad puppy dog expression.” 

Dejected, the android released the brush and left the bathroom. Feeling her heart shatter, the inspector acted without thinking: she spun on her heels and grabbed Connor’s sweatshirt. He turned, eyebrows raised. Without saying a word, she extended the brush toward him. Still looking lost, Connor took the brush as if it might explode if he moved incorrectly. The inspector turned her back, and he understood. 

Intrigued, he began to brush her hair slowly. 

Meanwhile, the inspector reflected on the fact that Ryan had never brushed her hair or washed it. He hadn’t even helped with her makeup. She took a deep breath, focusing on the sensation of the brush separating the tangled strands of her hair. 

She felt very alert, as if her senses had been amplified. She had the impression of feeling her blood flow, spreading warmth and oxygen throughout her body. She loved that feeling because she had been searching for it for a long time. 

The feeling of being alive. 

And Ryan had been unable to make her feel this way, while an android had done it through such simple things… 

Connor finished brushing her hair and ran his hand through the strands, putting them back in place. The inspector’s heart raced, and several chills spread from her neck to her shoulders. 

“Oh, this is getting difficult…” 

“Let’s go to the living room,” Connor suggested. Was it her imagination, or did his usual direct tone seem to waver? “Let’s find something to distract you.” 

Without lifting her eyes to the android, she simply nodded and followed him. He led her to the couch and pulled several cushions closer to her. He turned on the TV with a voice command and asked, “Which channel do you want to watch?” 

“Any,” she replied in a whisper. 

Connor frowned. His analysis program ran instantly, searching for information that would help him. He found a few mentions of shows she liked and matched them with the programming of the 1567 available channels. Connor said a number aloud, and the screen flickered, displaying the first few minutes of the movie “Her.” The inspector didn’t move. 

“You should eat,” Connor said, shaking his head. 

“I’m not hungry.” She curled up and hugged her knees, hating how weak her voice sounded. She felt like a silly, shy schoolgirl next to a college student five years older for whom she had a crush. 

Connor watched her and finally decided to sit next to her. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He sat up straight, both feet firmly on the floor, his hands resting on his lap. 

“Relax, Connor,” she signaled for him to lean back. 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

He leaned back on the couch, but still seemed like a well-behaved boy waiting in the principal’s office to receive an award for his impeccable report card. A long silence followed, in which only the sound of the TV could be heard. Connor felt strange. His mind wandered, replaying the last hour over and over. He saw her again wearing the lingerie he had given her, her face soaked with tears, and the gun pressed to her head. Connor’s LED flashed, turning yellow for a moment. Remembering that made him feel horrible. One of those feelings that started deep in his stomach… 

Fear. 

Connor turned to look at her. A command that had appeared earlier reappeared. 

“Discover what happened.” 

The android felt a sudden urge to ask about the lingerie. Why was she wearing it in a situation like that? However, he knew he could ruin everything. He needed to keep her calm. She needed to recover and be okay. He couldn’t let that terrible scene repeat itself. It would be better not to mention the incident. 

The android didn’t realize it, but his LED had been flashing yellow throughout his reasoning. 

“Connor?” 

The android lifted his head. He hadn’t noticed he was staring at his hands, now clenched into fists. 

“Are you okay?” she seemed concerned. “Your LED is…” 

The sentence trailed off. She looked at him anxiously. Two impulses battled within him. 

Should he ask about the lingerie or stay quiet? 

“When I found you…” Connor began slowly. “Why were you wearing the lingerie I gave you?” 

A mix of shame, sadness, and anger covered her face with a shadow. She lowered her eyes, returning to gaze at her folded knees, and shrank even further. An uncomfortable silence thickened between them. As the seconds dragged on, Connor’s LED began to blink again until it turned yellow. 

“If you don’t feel comfortable answering, you don’t have to…” 

“I was waiting for Ryan,” she blurted out, her eyes squeezed shut. “I was… I had been worried about our relationship for a while. He didn’t seem interested in me anymore. The time we spent together dwindled to almost once every two weeks. He made excuses and appointments, and… he cut me off every time I tried to discuss what was happening. So… I started to think that maybe I had become… uninteresting.” 

The word slipped from her lips like a curse. Connor’s LED continued to blink. Seeing her face marked with so many negative emotions was… 

“So I thought maybe I could invest in the… sexual part of the relationship. Men like women with attitude in this area… and I’ve never had much. I’m not very good at it, so I feel insecure… about everything. That’s why I thought I’d start slowly. That’s when Lilith suggested the lingerie.” Her eyes searched Connor’s face for just a fraction of a second. The android’s eyebrows were furrowed, as if he were frustrated and confused. “Some men have fetishes for lingerie—and please don’t ask me to explain what a fetish is right now—so it seemed like a safe bet. I was saving up to buy one, but it would take a while. I wanted a specific style that Ryan had already mentioned he liked. Then you gifted me one… and I honestly didn’t know what to do. It felt wrong to wear the lingerie you gave me with another guy, but well… that’s not the point right now. With the lingerie in hand, I decided to surprise Ryan. I asked for the night off, did my makeup, prepared a few things, and waited for him to come home from work. But… he didn’t come back alone. I think he thought I would be on a call or filling out reports because I had been in that routine for almost two weeks…” 

Her voice died as it became too choked. She took a few deep breaths, the air coming out in short gasps. Unconsciously, Connor moved closer in a protective manner, his eyebrows marking an expression of pain. It was awful… It was awful to see her in that state. 

“He was with another woman. She… was beautiful, you know? I wouldn’t be surprised if I found her face on the cover of Vogue. And they… went into the room half-naked. She was just in her blouse and underwear, already half-unbuttoned, and he was shirtless. Just imagine their faces when they saw me.” She let out a lifeless chuckle. “And Ryan had the nerve to ask what I was doing there. Well, I live here, right? The real question was what the other woman was doing in my house, in my room.” She sighed heavily. “Look, I’m not going to go into details about the horrors I heard from Ryan and that witch, or the horrors I said. In the end, I just lost it. He insisted that I couldn’t kick him out since he had already started to move out… I think he was trying to figure out how to keep the house for himself. He was a good professional but a complete idiot with his own money. He could never save enough to buy a decent pair of sneakers. Ah… Then I did what I shouldn’t have: I grabbed the gun. I was so desperate to be alone, to never see that bastard’s face again… I lost my mind. That’s when I stormed out like the crazy one in the story. In the end, I think that was the thrill Ryan found in me: cheating on a police girlfriend!” Her voice rose in tone, laden with irony. “How exciting, right? Always risking my neck. What better way to inject some good adrenaline into the relationship?” 

She fell silent, her head still lowered, her face devoid of the energy that her ironic voice had shown. A long silence thickened between them again, during which Connor realized an important detail was missing from that story. How had she ended up with the gun pointed at her own head? How had she come to want to take her own life? Was it all because of this Ryan? No… It couldn’t be. It didn’t match her personality. The inspector he knew was a strong, untamed woman who knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. So why…? 

Connor called her name slowly, weighing each letter he chose. “I confess I’m a little confused. You said you pulled the gun to scare them away from your house.” 

It took her a few seconds, but the inspector understood. She pressed her lips together and lowered her legs, resting her hands on the couch. Still with her head down, she asked in a whisper: 

“You want to know why I had the gun pointed at my head if I said I pulled it to scare them away, right?” 

Connor raised his eyebrows, surprised at how direct she had been. Still cautious, he slowly nodded. She lowered her head a bit more, and he heard her sniffle. 

“Can I ask you something before I answer?” Her voice was choked. 

“Of course.” 

“Why do you want to know the reason?” 

“If I know the reason, I can think of a strategy to avoid it. And then, it will never happen again.” 

“Why…” She slowly raised her head until her gaze met Connor’s. Her eyes, bright and watery, seemed loaded with the stubbornness and determination of someone ready for the worst answer but also prepared to counter it. “You don’t want this to happen again?” 

Scenes paraded before the android’s eyes. He imagined his entire routine, all the cases… without her. He envisioned himself following Hank’s shadow without hearing her laughter, which had broken the tension of investigations and the gloomy atmosphere of Detroit so many times. He imagined the absence of her teasing Hank and how she could disarm the lieutenant’s scowl, making Connor’s life so much easier. He imagined finishing a case without receiving her “thumbs up.” He envisioned all the intriguing, human experiences the inspector had provided him. He imagined arriving at the police station and not hearing the only “good morning” he ever got. 

“Because if you die…” Connor didn’t look away, but he seemed confused… Not because of the sensations, but because the answer was now so obvious to him that he couldn’t understand why it wasn’t obvious to her as well. “Everything will feel so empty.” 

From the inspector’s expression, it was clear she wasn’t expecting that response. Her eyes widened, and a few tears fell. She immediately covered her face with her hands and tried to dry it without much success. 

“Hey! I’m sorry!” Connor stumbled over his words. “I didn’t mean to make you cry!” 

Unconsciously, the android raised his hands and gently placed them on each side of her face, which froze. With her hands hiding her expression, she was still sniffling. 

“D-Don’t apologize, C-Connor. It’s just that…” Her sobs interrupted her speech, and soon her voice fell silent again. She took several long breaths, trying to stop crying. “No one… No one has ever said that to me before.” 

Connor blinked several times. Gradually, she stopped crying and managed to lift her face. She sighed, wiping her face one last time, and Connor withdrew his hands to give her space. Staring at her bent leg on the couch, she continued her explanation: 

“The truth is… I feel very alone. Not because I live alone. It’s that… I have no one. Ever since I can remember, I’ve never had anyone who cared about me. If I had eaten, if I was thirsty, if I had gone to school. If anyone ever did that for me…” A shadow passed over her eyes. There was anger in her voice. “It was to fulfill a protocol. Because if it were genuine, I wouldn’t have been abandoned the way I was. So basically, what I was given was just the fact of being alive. And for some reason that I still don’t quite understand, I… held on to my existence with all my might. I didn’t want to stop existing… just because no one cared about me. So I insisted. I looked for people I wanted to be with… I met Lilith at school, and then we decided to become police officers. That’s when I ran into Hank.” Her voice dropped a little, sounding sorrowful. “He… was impossible at first. Not that he’s improved much. I made the mistake of… starting to see him as a father. I wanted him to care about me, but… he never stopped trying to kill himself. That’s why… I lost it that day we found him collapsed at his house. Russian roulette… that idiot.” 

She paused, focusing on her breathing to avoid crying again. 

“That day, I realized I could never replace Cole. Nothing could. That’s when I understood I wasn’t… a reason for Hank to live. He didn’t care. I felt empty. I felt adrift in a limbo that no one else could access. And soon after, Lilith showed up with the news that she was getting married and… moving to Chicago. Gradually, I was losing the connections that kept me here. Ryan was the last straw. When I kicked him out of my house with that bimbo, it felt like I had become the last human being alive on the face of the Earth… I had never felt so alone. I don’t even remember exactly what I did; I just remember when I realized I was still holding the gun. The idea popped into my head instantly. I felt relieved. Because I knew that idea… would work. I would stop feeling— 

The inspector abruptly interrupted her speech, as something firmly grabbed her wrist. She looked up, startled, and saw that Connor appeared even more frightened; his hand was nearly crushing her arm. 

“Please…” Connor said in a trembling voice. She had never heard him speak like that before. ��Never again. You can never do that again.” 

The inspector covered the android’s hand with her own, squeezing it gently. Seeing him like that temporarily erased all the memories and dark feelings that had haunted her account, igniting her protective instincts. 

“Connor, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m alive.” 

The android’s eyes seemed unfocused, as if he were seeing something beyond. On his interface, several commands flashed urgently, all concerning the inspector’s safety and well-being. 

“I felt…” His voice came out choppy. “When I saw you with the gun to your head… I felt… Fear. 

I was terrified. And when you started talking about what you felt… It was like I was feeling it too. It’s very sad and… frightening.” 

The inspector now held the android’s hand with both of hers, caressing the back. 

“And I am… feeling all of this… And I just feel. I can’t understand, I… want to understand why I’m feeling all of this.” 

Then, as if a light had turned on inside his head, Connor saw Hank sitting on the back of the bench. He heard his own voice, which now sounded very mechanical. 

“So you’re saying I should like the inspector?” 

Next was Hank’s voice, laced with a light mockery that he hadn’t noticed at the time. 

“And don’t you already like her?” 

The inspector observed Connor’s face, and she could swear she saw his neural biocomponents working as he reasoned. 

Finally, Connor lowered his head, and a tiny smile curved his lips. 

“Hank already answered that.” 

He raised his eyes and stared at the inspector for a long time and finally said, “I think… it’s because I like you.” 

If the inspector had been drinking something at that moment, she would have definitely choked. Her eyes widened, and she felt her face flush almost instantly. 

“Hey! You can’t say that kind of thing like that!” she protested, looking away. 

“Why not?” Connor frowned. He had used Hank’s exact words. What was wrong with that? 

“Because I might misunderstand.” 

“How so?” 

The inspector sighed, trying to stay calm in the face of Connor’s eternal slowness regarding human matters he got involved in. 

“Because… there are two ways to like someone.” 

“Aah…” The android sounded as if he truly understood. The inspector doubted it. “So you want me to be specific?” 

“Maybe.” She still hadn’t looked directly at Connor. 

The android pondered for a few moments until he finally asked, “How do I know?” 

The inspector perfectly mimicked the way Hank would cover his face with one hand, frustrated. 

“Oh, heavens…” she sighed. “We can like someone in a brotherly way, like me and Lilith. We like who each other is, we enjoy doing things together, we get along, we have common interests, and we care about each other. That’s why we consider ourselves friends. Or you can like in a way that…” 

Her voice trailed off, and she pressed her lips together. Connor leaned in her direction, eyebrows raised in an encouraging gesture. 

“That…?” 

“That… you get curious to see me wearing lingerie, for example.” 

“To be honest, I did a simulation…” 

“Connor, that was a joke! Argh!” The inspector pulled her legs up again and hid her face between her knees and crossed arms. “I could have gone to bed without that… And so could you.” 

“In fact, I thought you looked beautiful in all thirty-seven outfits I tested. I did the simulation the day I went shopping, to make sure it fit…” 

“Connor!” Practically in a panic, the inspector lunged at the android and covered his mouth with one hand. He blinked several times, surprised by his partner’s reaction. “Those details… I’m not mentally prepared for them…” 

Connor continued watching her, intrigued. She lowered her eyes, her lips pressed together again in an anxious expression. Finally, she closed her eyes and sighed heavily, lowering the hand that had covered her partner’s mouth. 

“Ah… this isn’t making things easier.” 

A question appeared between Connor’s furrowed eyebrows. The inspector looked at him reluctantly, but she was already yielding to resignation. 

“Because I also like you,” she explained. 

“Like… how?” 

The inspector hesitated. 

“Like the second way.” 

“That means that… you want to see me in lingerie?” 

The inspector stared at him blankly for a few seconds and then suddenly burst into laughter. She doubled over, her arms wrapping around her belly. A silly smile curved Connor’s lips. Even though he knew it wasn’t the inspector’s authentic laughter, it was laughter. And she laughed because of him. He recorded every sound, every angle of the inspector’s laugh. He was sure he could replay that scene over and over and never tire of it. 

“Um…” said the inspector, catching her breath. “You could say yes, but… wait. There are many steps before lingerie. Actually… when we like someone the second way, we want to do things like… kiss, for example.” 

Her eyes, once bright from tears, now sparkled with something else. And Connor liked that sparkle. 

“So, you want to… kiss me?” 

The inspector’s face flushed for the umpteenth time. She would never get used to how direct Connor could be. 

“Maybe.” 

“Why maybe?” 

The inspector slowly lifted her face, her eyes meeting Connor’s in a different way. She was obviously shy, but her mouth was pressed into a suppressed smile. She didn’t seem a little… mischievous? 

“I can’t kiss you if you don’t want to kiss me too.” 

Connor's eyes immediately fell to his partner's mouth. He remembered a few minutes earlier when he was wiping her lips with a makeup remover cloth to remove the last traces of lipstick. He recalled how intrigued he had been when his finger accidentally brushed against her upper lip... He wanted to better feel the texture. Unbeknownst to him, Connor leaned in, his eyes tracing the outline of the inspector's lips. The inspector felt her heart race as her eyelids reflexively closed. Connor noticed the movement and mimicked her. The android felt his lips brush against hers and hesitated. He felt the warm, vibrant breath of the inspector. 

It felt as if she were caressing his skin... which seemed less artificial by the second. With an unprecedented sigh, Connor sealed his lips against hers. The first thing he felt was how soft they were. The second was that they were warm. 

The third was a vague notion that she had a tiny bruise on the lower left corner... It was then that Connor's mind shut down. 

The inspector parted her lips and gently captured his lower lip between hers. The gesture seemed to inject an electric jolt into all his biocomponents. With every caress, with every sigh, he felt himself awakening from a trance. The softness and warmth of the inspector's mouth mixed with the wonderful sound of her laughter and the gentle rhythm of her breathing... 

He allowed himself to be overwhelmed by her. All the confused thoughts that still felt like commands disappeared, and he felt safe, free, and... alive. 

Connor didn't know how long he stayed there feeling just the inspector. He only knew that at some point (too soon, in fact), she pulled away and gasped for air.  

However, Connor had barely processed the absence of her touch before he felt the inspector's skin against his again, their foreheads resting together. They remained silent for a few minutes, focusing on each other's presence. 

Finally, Connor couldn't hold back any longer and asked, "What else... what else can we do now that we like each other?" 

The inspector remained silent, her eyes still closed. Connor didn't know if she was contemplating his question or if she had even heard it. In a shy yet sincere tone, he began, "A simulation... It's not the same as seeing it for real... Considering what you said earlier, could I... see you wearing the lingerie I gave you?" 

"C-Connor!" 

[dark-moonlust]

The Cursed Kings PART 1

Pairing: 3 mummies x female human reader

Summary: Inside an ancient crypt, you happen to awaken three powerful kings. They are cursed and you are the chosen one who is destined to satisfy the hunger of their curse.

Warnings: 18+, dubcon, size kink, overstimulation, oral (fem and males), mummies taking turns pleasing their mate, big 🍆, lots of 💦, mummies tranformation.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god…”

But your protests fell on deaf ears. Before you could deny them, their hands were all over you, the rough linen of their wraps brushing against your flesh as they explored, their touch growing bolder with each passing second. You sighed, your breath coming in quick bursts as the curse took hold of you. Your body deceived you by responding to their touch despite the surprise of what was happening.

They found your relatively dry pussy, but as one finger parted your folds and teased your petals, it quickly started producing more moisture. Round and round the finger teased while the other two creatures cupped your breasts, kneading and licking your sensitive buds. They settled you on your back, their hands gripping your thighs— keeping them open as the first touch upon your clit caused you to jerk.

The blue-eyed mummy was between your thighs; all you could see were his eyes and feel the wicked rolls of his tongue over your cunt. He licked a large stripe, soaked up your juices, and roared. Then he moved, allowing the amber-eyed one to do the same, probing your folds with his tongue. Then the last mummy touched you, the green-eyed, more powerful as his mouth clamped upon your clit, tongue swirling and swirling, pushing you to the edge of bliss.

This is a sneak peek of the special monstertober oneshot I uploaded on Patreon. Part 2 coming soon. Come join me for more exclusive stories or even for the free goodies, without a subscription.

[sundayiminlove]

sleep, pretty darling [ dallas winston x f!reader ]

synopsis : you're overworking yourself with studying in preparation for exams, and dally isn't havin' it. contains : academic overachiever reader, whipped dallas winston, mostly just tooth-rotting fluff, notes : first writing post on here, kinda (very) nervous!! think i'm gonna make a point to write for each greaser in effort to shoehorn my way into outsiders tumblr?? yeah??? okay, GREAT. 99% chance i post something different for dal tho. just a messy, silly little drabble. ironically wrote after not sleeping for 32 hours. i'm sorry if he's a lil ooc y'all, this is my first dal fic in give or take a year!!! he'll get there, i promise! mwah mwah hope u enjoy warnings : not proofread, we die like dally

i.

PALE BLUE EYES slant sideways, casting a brief look at you.

Your nose is scrunched in concentration over the comically large textbook laid open in your lap. You're hunched over, tracing under each printed word with your finger, thumbing down when you stop to take a note.

Dallas is preemptively annoyed. He's been leaning expectantly against the doorframe circa ten seconds ago, and you're yet to notice him. He takes one last dramatic drag from his cigarette before begrudgingly discarding it on the outsole of his shoe. The creases on on your nose tighten as you catch a whiff of the wafting smoke. Though a vehement anti-smoker yourself, you've spent enough time around the gang to guarantee your lungs at least a permanent char. Despite this, you always just have to make a big song and dance of your distaste for them, and Dally does nothing to curb the quirk of his lips into a slight grin.

You have him, hook line and sinker.

"(Y/N)," he speaks at last. His tone is firm yet without underlying aggression; one exclusively for your ears.

You perk up.

Dallas' fingers splay against his lips as if holding a phantom cigarette. "What're you doin' over here so late, huh? Was out lookin' for you."

He watches as your gaze darts to the window. Nightfall has long since kissed the apex of Tulsa, yet you hadn't a clue. You'd been there for hours, crunching equations and fruitlessly jotting down formulas. The encroaching weight of finals week had rendered both your circadian rhythm and measure of passing time nugatory.

"Borrowin' one of Darry's old textbooks," you explain, the corners of your mouth tugging into a frown. "Not exactly a monastery but it beats that old Soc-infested library, long as Two stays gone, that is."

He crosses the Curtis' living room in four smooth strides, plopping down next to you on the couch. The flimsy cushion sinks beneath him, forcing you closer to him, and for once, Dally's grateful for the pathetic old thing's lack of structural integrity.

He lifts the textbook, ignoring your whimper of protest and sets it on the coffee table. He spins the silver band on his knuckle, averting his gaze downwards. "You know, sweetheart," he pauses, choosing his words. Dally wears his worry uniquely, sparingly. "I'm not particularly likin' all of these.. these books, and.." he trails off, thumb tracing your newly-formed eyebag as if he could swipe it clean. "When's the last time you got any sleep?"

Things are different. You're his girl now. And not just his pretty skirt for the night and until 7am after; no, this is serious. You're his girlfriend. His lover. It's foreign. It's enthralling.

No one had told poor Dallas that falling for you would unwind a deep vortex in his brain that noticed the trivial things, like how suspiciously little you blinked or how the vibrant pink in your cheeks had drained.

You lean into his touch with an exasperated sigh. "Dally, c'mon, don't you start this. I know it's nothin' to you, but it's finals week!" you huff. "I'll catch up on the sleep, swear it! I just, I got so much left to do here, and,"

Your defense falls on deaf ears. This has been it for weeks now; and the you-sized hole burning in his chest is only getting deeper. Dally's arms encircle your waist as he taps gently on the small of your back. "Don't give me that," he sighs. "God, baby, you're worryin' me, alright? Don't like seeing my girl so..." he fans his hand outwards.

As you tense and start to fly into another excuse, he shakes his head, mind already made. He's sparing no more of your attention. "You're comin' back to Buck's with me, alright?" His timbre leaves no room for argument, but you squirm regardless. His grip on you tightens. "And I'm making sure you get some goddamn rest."

You pout, looking over at your textbook as if it would personify and save you. "But," you start, only to be hastily shushed.

"But nothin', doll. C'mon, up ya go,"

With that, he scoops you up, one arm hooking around your legs. Your series of half-hearted protests are nullified as he secures you into Buck's old truck, movements careful yet hasty. You inevitably surrender, a soft sigh escaping your lips as you lean back into the torn leather.

BUCK MERRIL'S HOUSE is as quiet as Buck Merril's house is capable of being. You've never been to Buck Merril's house, so you don't find it very quiet at all.

Running his hands over the blanket, Dallas spreads it out on the floor, smoothening out the crinkles and corners. They reform almost immediately and he sighs heavily, airing it out on the pummeled mattress in defeat. If he would have know he'd be conducting a full-scale kidnapping for the sake of your rest, he might have better prepared. Might have.

So, here's the thing, right?"

There have been girls in Dallas Winston's bed before.

There have been quite a few girls in Dallas Winston's bed before.

There have been zero girls in Dallas Winston's bed that he didn't bring into it with meaningless sex on the horizons.

You're no snob and he knows this, but now, it's the principle. Dallas Winston may sleep on a mattress deficient of ample springs and no top sheet, but Dallas Winston's girl should never. In spite his hazy, rose-colored, Y/N-centric world created under this roof, he knows he has to step it up.

As soon as he hears the faucet cut off, he's off his feet. He flings himself onto the mattress, hitching one leg up as he awaits the slow creek of the door.

And there you stand.

Dallas wonders what karmic debt is being paid off for him to deserve to see you like this. His lips part as he drinks in the sight of you like a man dying of thirst. You, in his lightly wrinkled grey tee that scarcely conceals your bare thighs. Your face glistens with renew, a few stray droplets racing down your forehead and cheeks. Even trammeled by exhaustion, you knock the wind right out of him.

You wear the moonlight beautifully. It traces each feature so delicately as you sit beside him on the bed. "I'm—," you start, but pause to let a little yawn. He practically melts beside you.

"I'm sorry I gave you such a tough time, darlin'," you continue, situating under the blanket. "You were right, I'm proper beat."

He smirks, propping his head up to look down on you. "As always," he notes, tucking a fly-away hair behind your ears. You roll your eyes and give him a playful jab, to which he winces in mock affliction. "Some nerve," he hums, thumb tracing your cheek.

You look at him, lips parting gently. This isn't Dallas Winston; that infamous, no-good hoodlum from the wrong side of the tracks. This is your Dally, someone you alone have the absolute pleasure of knowing.

"That's it," he whispers as you surrender to his side, nuzzling his neck. Your eyes are heavy, faltering by the second, yet your grip on him is unyielding. He's never felt a thing like this before, and he's quickly becoming putty in your careful arms. He's content to lay awake all night, watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest as slumber claims you.

His gangly fingers trace idly on your back, and he knows. He will never be the same.